Posted by: Craig Taylor | 2009-08-07

Son with Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Good Day

My fiancé  and me are in desperate need for assistance with his son, age 12, which are a problem child, for the last 6years his really suffering with all kinds of disorders e.g. ADHD, CD,ODD which is the worst that he battles with.
Jason’ s mom abused alcohol and drugs when she was pregnant with him. Jason’ s parent are divorce 6 years ago where his Dad had to apply for full custody, his mom were not entitle to look after him, since then Jason’ s dad are suffering with him. We had him in all types of school and hostels, where he been suspended several times, but no improvement as well as home schooling, His temper and behavior are very very high and dangerous. He been in Wes koppies hospital, been to various evaluations, hypnosis, all kinds of therapy, Scio treatment and also all type of medication that make him worse, but nothing work. For the last four months we working close with the Khungweni Welfare in Boschkop/Zwavelpoort area, we try to get him into Boys town, but unfortunately there a waiting list which Jason is no19, this means it can still take a long time even only next year, but the concern about boys town is that because Jason is so far behind on educational lever (4years) they do not offer special education for problem children, they work with normal model C schools. No school want to accept him, he even do not complete his probation period in all the schools he been in.
We really do not know where to with Jason, the Welfare also cannot assist us, parentally there is no facilities or therapy for problem kids with this DANGEROUS Disorder in South Africa. His Dad really needs assistance. Jason been a gangster, smoked dagga, bur glaring, stealing, stabbing other kids with weapons, hates discipline because of this Opp. Deviant Disorder. His disorder means that he has got a mental disorder. Jason are a very stubborn child he wants his way or others wise they will just not cooperation with anything.
Maybe if we can send Jason to a commercial school, this will be the last option, because his really a problem child, just do not show any interest in any kind of education.
Financially Jason total drained us with no success for Jason.
The other concern is that he is currently not in school, that’ s way it is so important to us to get help.

We would really appreciate, if you cannot assist us, to forward us any other contact details.

Please if any queries you welcome to contact me, Ria Botha (step mother) on 076 486 4653

Thank you for your co operation
Craig Taylor
072 776 4480

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Our expert says:
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First;y. guys, please do NOT post cell numbers here. I and other experts are not able to call you, but posting your numbers enables many other nastier folks to call you.
Sometimes, sadly, a youngster might inded suffer from a closter of disorders, but usually the situation is that he has one complex problem, which can look like several others, in different circumstances. When a pregnant woman abuses drugs and / or alcohol, there is a risk of damage to the child, including brain damage. Hypnosis would not help at all, but I can understand how desperate you may have felt. Even if, as is posible, this is primarily an Antisocial Personality Disorder, you are sadly right that there are practically no facilities in SA to deal expertly qith such kids or to help them or their family.
If he does anything criminal, a court could perhaps order him to be compulsorily detainwed, but that's pointless unless there was a suitable facility for him to go to, and the court would be unnecessary with you as parents being able to sign the relevant papers. The problem as you point out is the lack of facilities. A skilled and experienced psycholoigist, if there is one available and willing, could devise a system to try to treach him some of the realities of life, but such work is difficult and not often rewarding.
You dont mention where you live, but though it may not seem as helpful as you wish, there;s probably no way around geting him seen by a specilaist child psychiatrist or psychologist to asess him, and discuss treatment options with them following the assssment

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Our users say:
Posted by: Wishing you strength | 2009-08-12

My Sister in Law works at FAMSA, where she gives guidance and assistance to children abused and/or with learning and/or personality disorders/disabilities and/or drug problems (and their families) through, amongst others, art therapy. I refer to her as a Doctor of Hearts. She has a Masters Degree and is a Professional Welfare worker. Not to be confused with untrained individuals who offer " art therapy"  courses. She is at the Pretoria FAMSA and I would suggest you contact her and am sorry that I cannot supply her details here. Do not give up hope.

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