advertisement
Question
Posted by: Worried Mom | 2011/03/18

Son cheated on Test

My son who is 9 and in grade 5 cheated on his taaltoets, he had changed his answer after the test was marked and told the teacher that it was marked incorrectly. She in turn referenced this to another grade 5 teacher and told him privately that they has decided that he had changed the answer after the fact and his mark will no be changed.
My son is a strong " B"  to a A student he does very well at sports as well and is generally a very good boy.
What shocks me the most is that previously he has mentioned that others in his class cheat during a test and how wrong it is and yet he himself had cheated.
The other thing is that the teacher seemed to have dealt with this in school and not even made a note in his book about it but he himself told me what he had done.
I have told him that I am very disappointed and reminded him that be a " A"  student is worthless if he is dishonest I have also told him that he may have ruined his pristine reputation with his teachers for a mere 1 point on a test .

Please help with some advice.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its always difficult to avoid the temptation of cheating, especially when other kids do it and seem to get away with it, and when the kid himself feels any pressure to keep up igh marks even in areas where, like any normal person, he might not be as bright as he is in other areas.
And I think even good students may be tempted when they perceive some tests to be unfair and likely to give them lower marks than they think they deserve.
It would be fruitful to discuss with him the puzzle that he had previously expressed distaste at the cheating of others and that he wouldn't do it. Maybe he was testing the waters to check how you feel about such things ?
ou sound like an excellent mom, that he trusted you enough to speak frankly about this.
I like purple's point, that nobody ( excpt perhaps the occasional idiot ) ever asks what MARKS one got on any test, but they're more interested in how one deals with problems and challenges.
And as Cynic fairly comments, an alert and intelligent kid sees a country in which almost none of the rampant corruption ever gets punished, and where Education Departments themselves blatantly cheat and manipulate marks. But out of self-respect, one needs to meet one's opwn standards, not those of the unworthy.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

6
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/03/19

Its always difficult to avoid the temptation of cheating, especially when other kids do it and seem to get away with it, and when the kid himself feels any pressure to keep up igh marks even in areas where, like any normal person, he might not be as bright as he is in other areas.
And I think even good students may be tempted when they perceive some tests to be unfair and likely to give them lower marks than they think they deserve.
It would be fruitful to discuss with him the puzzle that he had previously expressed distaste at the cheating of others and that he wouldn't do it. Maybe he was testing the waters to check how you feel about such things ?
ou sound like an excellent mom, that he trusted you enough to speak frankly about this.
I like purple's point, that nobody ( excpt perhaps the occasional idiot ) ever asks what MARKS one got on any test, but they're more interested in how one deals with problems and challenges.
And as Cynic fairly comments, an alert and intelligent kid sees a country in which almost none of the rampant corruption ever gets punished, and where Education Departments themselves blatantly cheat and manipulate marks. But out of self-respect, one needs to meet one's opwn standards, not those of the unworthy.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Serious | 2011/03/18

You sound a great mom seriously.
On a lighter note cheats do very well in SA. Even if he has no scruples but is smart he will probably end up owning a gold mine, driving a porche and eating sushi for breakfast.
If he has no scruples and is stupid he can run a municipality and drink expensive scotch. LOL

Reply to Serious
Posted by: Truth | 2011/03/18

Do not worry he will find out that cheating is unnessary as you only need 33% for matric. And if no body achieves 33% they lower the pass mark!

Reply to Truth
Posted by: Cynic | 2011/03/18

Unfortunately he sees cheating, corruption,, dishonesty, lack of work ethics in practice in the Government and Municipalities, all seemingly condoned, as well as the Education Dept falsely bumping up students marks so that the Dept does not look bad, so unfortunately cheating rubs off on the kids.

However, all is not lost. He at least had the decency to tell you what took place and the way you handled it is to be admired. The problem is that in many cases parents do not involve themselves in their childs overall education and feel that it is up to the teachers to do it for them, You appear to be on the right track.

Reply to Cynic
Posted by: Worried Mom | 2011/03/18

Thx for the compliments BUT I have to admit that I was was fuming inside !

Reply to Worried Mom
Posted by: PUrple | 2011/03/18

It sounds like between you and the teachers that the incident has been handled well.

He is no doubt now ashamed of what he did and is unlikely to do it again.
If he has seen others cheating with no consequences, then maybe he thought it wouldn''t matter if he did it too.

Pserhaps the reason he cheated is more important - does he put a lot of pressure on himself to always do very well? Maybe he needs to understand that the effort he puts in and trying to do his best is more important than the final mark. Marks might help one to get into university, but its the effort you have learnt to put in along the way that gets you work and helps you do well at work and is the far more important skill.
Nobody asks in an interview what you got for x subject - they might ask a school leaver how he balanced work and extra murals or what methods he used for preparing for exams, but not about his final marks - they''re a bit irrelevant really so long as the person did pass. Perhaps try to convey this to your son over time and hope he puts a bit less pressure on himself.

Its a really good sign that he opened up to you and told you about this, it shows what a good relationship he has with you. You then expressed your disappointment without over reacting, which means that has been maintained and he''ll still feel comfrotable owning up in future.

I hope when my son reaches that age and we deal with these issues that I am as calm as you.

Reply to PUrple

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement