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Question
Posted by: Mom | 2010/08/25

Son akward with girls

My 14 year old son is very shy around girls. He tries to be nice but ends up irritaing them. I can see he is waiting for me to give advice, but eish. I told him to be himself. On the one hand i''m glad as it keeps him out of trouble, haha, but I can see he really would like to connect with a girl just to talk. Any advice on how to boost his confidence or approach? He is shy in general and only has two good friends, so hanging out in the groups to join in the laughter etc isn''t an option.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

In so many ways him being shy around girls is very age-appropriate. Early teens have usually become aware of themselves sexually and also who they are attracted to but often do not act on this until they are a little older, around 15-16 years. This varies hugely depending on the person, but his lack of confidence with girls is very typical of his age.

You are correct when you suggest he should just be himself. Socially things will realy take off in the mid-teens and this is when people often meet others for the first time. With relationships you can't make things happen but you can certainly become more confident so that you are able to let things happen.

Best wishes

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Teen expert | 2010/08/27

In so many ways him being shy around girls is very age-appropriate. Early teens have usually become aware of themselves sexually and also who they are attracted to but often do not act on this until they are a little older, around 15-16 years. This varies hugely depending on the person, but his lack of confidence with girls is very typical of his age.

You are correct when you suggest he should just be himself. Socially things will realy take off in the mid-teens and this is when people often meet others for the first time. With relationships you can't make things happen but you can certainly become more confident so that you are able to let things happen.

Best wishes

Reply to Teen expert
Posted by: Dad | 2010/08/26

He may be trying to communicate with girls of his own age wh o as you know, mature much earlier than boys and thus your son''s remarks etc appear to be childish to them. He should try and socialise with girls of 12 who will be more on his intellectual level. Girls are always much smarter than us guys.

Reply to Dad

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