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Question
Posted by: Y | 2012/09/13

Son

Good day doc

I hope you can help me or just point me in the right direction.
My son is 7, the school phoned me to say to me that he stole some of the kids money. When asked in the class and threatening to call the police he confessed. He was sorry and said it would not happen again. I sat down with him and talked to him whey it is wrong and he know that it was wrong. I think he is taking some of the kid’ s toys that they bring to school. Today he took money out of my husband’ s wallet. I don’ t know how to handle this. I don’ t know if this has anything to do with it, my son is ADHD he is on medication for it. Anybody with some advice I would really appreciate it.

Regards
Y

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

This is not usually a part of ADHD, but if he is seeing a child shrink about the ADHD ( which shouldn't be dealt with entirely by a GP ) that person could also advice more specifically about this.
Thanks to Anon for an encouraging follow-up to his/her own experiences.
That your boy went on to steal at home even AFTER the fuss at school and the talking to ( I prefer a talking-with to a talking to) suggests that central to this is distress about something happening to disturb him, at school or at home, and a demand for more attention. For a start, spend more time not in choking him off, but in gently talking about how he feels about things, how thengs are for him a school and at home, and why he now suddenly seems to want things belonging to other people. Explore how he would feel if others stole things belonging to him, and whether he recognizes how his actions make other people feel.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: ANON2 | 2012/09/14

I understand that this could cause him big problems in future. I also do not know what goes on in your household or even in which area you live - but from personal experience...
Put yourself in his shoes for just a few seconds - it seems his focus is on cash...
Did you know that children these days - as young as 5 years old will get pocket money ranging anywhere from R30 a week to R100+! Is it possible that one of his friends or one of the popular children recieves pocket money like this? Which make him feel inferior? Making him take money just to prove that he is not a lesser person and can also have " stuff" ??

Reply to ANON2
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/09/14

This is not usually a part of ADHD, but if he is seeing a child shrink about the ADHD ( which shouldn't be dealt with entirely by a GP ) that person could also advice more specifically about this.
Thanks to Anon for an encouraging follow-up to his/her own experiences.
That your boy went on to steal at home even AFTER the fuss at school and the talking to ( I prefer a talking-with to a talking to) suggests that central to this is distress about something happening to disturb him, at school or at home, and a demand for more attention. For a start, spend more time not in choking him off, but in gently talking about how he feels about things, how thengs are for him a school and at home, and why he now suddenly seems to want things belonging to other people. Explore how he would feel if others stole things belonging to him, and whether he recognizes how his actions make other people feel.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Anon | 2012/09/13

I don''t know if this will help at all but I use to do this as a child, I once took money from a kid in school and left a note that said " guess who"  and I was never caught and I use to take small change from my mothers purse all the time, I don''t know why exactly but if I think about it today it could definitely have been due to underlying issues within my household.

My parents cared for 4 of my cousins when I was 7 up untill I was 14 years old and if I remember correctly this is more or less the time I use to do this. I remember feeling left out and I felt that I had a definite need for more attention so I''m pretty sure it''s an underlying issue at home of school that makes your son do this, but I''m sure CyberShrink can shed some light on this for you.

But, I''d like to mention that today I am a well adjusted adult, married with 2 small kids of my own and my parents never knew this and I was never sent for counselling of some sort so I guess I dealt with these issues by myself and got over it I guess?!

Good Luck and take extra special care of your son and he might just need some attention from you!

Reply to Anon

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