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Question
Posted by: Sad Man | 2012/05/13

Socially messed up...

Hi
I don''t know what to do with myself. I hate family occasions and social events. I become shy, defensive, depressing to be around and just awkward! When I walk around by myself doing my day to day stuff I feel fine. Chest is out, chin is up and I feel confident. I''m still not very talkative but by all appearances I am confident. Then when I have to be around my family or my girlfriends family I change. My posture changes, I can''t seem to even fake a smile, monotonous, don''t look people in the eye and I can''t hold a conversation. I just can''t think of anything! I go completely blank!! So I give one word answers for everything and then labeled the rude, boring a-hole.
When I am around my friends or girlfriend I am totally different. I am animated, talkative and very confident. Unfortunately all of my good friends have gone their separate ways, moving to different cities etc. About a month ago my girlfriend and I broke up partly because her folks did not like me and didn''t want to be around me because of how I become. I feel pathetic and like I''m just destroying everything that comes my way because of this. I have considered CBT but I am not sure if it is something that can help. What do you think?
I really don''t know what to do as I have become so depressed over it ruining my relationship and feeling this way makes it even worse.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Many of us are a bit shy, especially on some occasions. But for some of us its much more severe, and this is called a Social Anxiety Disorder. That you can be confident and competent in several different circumstances, shows that you CAN be comfortable and effective when with others, but not yet with ANYONE else.
SOme medications can jhelp, but best of all would be to see a good local psychologist for a special formm of counselling called CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ) which can help you learn social skills, learn not to be anxious, whoever you're with, and to enjoy relationships both close ones and with a wider range of friends.
And if you were becoming actually depressed, that, too, would need attantion, and relieving it would help greatly.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Henry | 2012/05/14

Hey Sad Man - you sound like you have Aspergers Syndrome, I also have it and it took me 52 years to figure it out  take a look into this and all the best..

Reply to Henry
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/05/13

Many of us are a bit shy, especially on some occasions. But for some of us its much more severe, and this is called a Social Anxiety Disorder. That you can be confident and competent in several different circumstances, shows that you CAN be comfortable and effective when with others, but not yet with ANYONE else.
SOme medications can jhelp, but best of all would be to see a good local psychologist for a special formm of counselling called CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ) which can help you learn social skills, learn not to be anxious, whoever you're with, and to enjoy relationships both close ones and with a wider range of friends.
And if you were becoming actually depressed, that, too, would need attantion, and relieving it would help greatly.

Reply to cybershrink

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