Posted by: scared | 2009-03-21

social anxiety

i'  ve self-diagnosed myself with social anxiety. I haven'  t been able to form close relationships with anyone at work after a year and a half. I keep ppl at a distance because I'  m too scared to talk to them. Ironically I'  m a counsellor. I have an appraisal meeting with my supervisor next week, and I'  m really dreading it. It'  s already come up that my weakness is reflecting on how I feel and asking for help. She says I'  m very self-contained and quietly figure out all the answers by myself. I'  ve come to realise that I do reflect a lot on my feelings, but I'  m just not able to verbalise it. I need this appraisal to go well as it will be sent to my new employer. However, I think she has a very negative perception of me because I'  m so quiet. I don'  t know how to explain I have SAD without actually voicing it. As soon as I talk about why I'  m so quiet, I get very emotional. I just want to try and explain that this is not the real me. I also really want to get help, but I don'  t know where to go. I currently live in Manchester, and the healthcare system is so foreign to me. I'  m too scared to ask for help.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Added to my earlier comments --- Don't be scared to seek help --- think of how you would advise a client who said the same thing to you. And if you mean you are in Manchester Engliand, then there are far more sources of help than in SA. ANY GP or hospital casualty dept can refer you to a suitable resource, and surely whatever agency you work with could do likewise, as they must be able to refer clients who need more skilled psych help. You could be feeling a great deal better before long

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Our users say:
Posted by: C*bershrink | 2009-03-21

( the real Cybershrink, but answering from a Telkom shop during my shopping expedition ).
Embarrassing, I understand, and undercutting your own usual advice to people not to hesitate to seek help.
I don' t know how your work situation works, but can' t you just tell her you have SAD and will be getting proper therapy for it ? YOu should seek an assessment by a good local shrink, and then CBT (Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ) and maybe some helpful medication for a time.
Soon the Real Quizzie should be confidently speaking her mind in a most helpful and energetic fashion !

Reply to C*bershrink
Posted by: Quizzie | 2009-03-21

I have sort of the same problem at work because people tend to perceive you as stupid or weak because you' re quiet. But in fact I' m the opposite of those things. When I am wronged or have been treated unfairly I cant stand up and voice my opinion because it all comes out wrong. I am also good at giving advice to ppl like you do in counceling and enjoy talking about issues and important debates. But I avoid any social situation because if makes me anxious and bored and then people think I' m shy. The real me never comes across and I feel most like myself when I am alone or with someone I' m comfortable.

Reply to Quizzie

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