Our expert says:
If you believe in and work entirely within the system of traditional beliefs, it's more clear what you should do. Similarly, if you do NOT share such beliefs and hold to more modern and scientific views. When you are caught between two systems of belief, it's much more difficult, as you've found. It seems to me that the elders have been seriously disrespectful of you and of her, by not even consulting you about your wishes or letting you know of the confrontation they planned.
It was wise of you to arrange a scientific paternity test - and golly, apparently their suspicions proved to be correct. The result is potentially deeply upsetting for both of you. I understand that you might want to end your relationship with her, feeling she deceived you. Some men might decide to go ahead with the marriage, but not many.
Useful comments from other readers, including the essential point of considering the child and her best interests, as she is entirely innocent.
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