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Question
Posted by: Lea | 2010-03-25

So Selfish

Hi CS
I dont know what to do with this guy.
We plan on getting married end of thisyear and have been together almost 3yrs.
The thing is to me he seems selfish, esp.regarding sex
Now honestly! This weekend I got my period and not feeling too great.
I was over at his place and we were watching movies and he decides he wants to make out.
I showed him that I was not interested and just wanted to cuddle because my tummy was cramping badly and all I wanted to do was relax with him.
Anyways I took a couple of pills and was waiting for it to take effect so I pushed him away and he goes and lies at the other end of the bed instead of lying by me.
Half an hour later he comes over again and wants to make out, so I just left him but never kissed him back and he just continues!
I was so angry with him but feeling ill at the same time that I never had the energy to really argue with him so i just left him.
Then he starts rubbing up against me and he could see I just was not into it.
He starts telling me he really needs it and if we cant just do it quickly.
I just ignored him, then he asks if I would give him oral!
I mean seriously! He went on begging and groping and ... for about an hour after which he left the room angry saying he was going to a friend.

I do not understand how he could go on like that when he knew how crappy I felt! No sympathy at all!
I''ve been thinking about it all Sunday, could I really live with this guy.
When it comes to sex he dsnt think straight! In the begining I thought it must just be a guy thing but I''ve come to realize that it just is not normal.
I have told him, when it is that time we will do nothing and he just has to sacrifice 5days and he can get it for the reat of the month but he can''t even do that.
Is there any way that a guy like this can change?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

He sounds immature, inconsiderate, and selfish. Wouldn'\t it be wise to insist on some couples counselling before moving further towards marriage ?

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4
Our users say:
Posted by: Happiness | 2010-03-26

Yep 5 days of waiting is nothing for the person you really care about. It''s good you''re only engaged or else he would be demanding it in the name of marriage.

Reply to Happiness
Posted by: qwerty | 2010-03-26

You''ve touched on a very important point there - can you live with this behaviour? Because if you can''t, you need to get out of this relationship. Nobody is perfect, and everybody as their own unique set of flaws - what you need to decide before you commit yourself to someone, is can you live with theirs?

He does indeed sound like an oaf! I''m sure he also has some good qualities (otherwise you wouldn''t have agreed to marry him!), but all the good qualities in the world mean nothing if you can''t live with the bad ones.....

Reply to qwerty
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-03-26

He sounds immature, inconsiderate, and selfish. Wouldn'\t it be wise to insist on some couples counselling before moving further towards marriage ?

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Honest Joe | 2010-03-25

He''s also an a**hole - his buddy must have been the other a**hole who shoved the girl in the other post. Drop him. He has no consideration for your well being. If he was so hard up for it, he should have just jerked off while he was on his own.

Reply to Honest Joe

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