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Question
Posted by: Mandy | 2012/01/20

So how do you break up with your boyfriend?

We''ve been together for almost 7 years, but I feel it''s time to break up now. This relationship isn''t going to the next level (marriage) and he just doesn''t respect me anymore. I just want out. How do I tell him without him getting super angry.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Firstly, it's hard to know without far more details than can be exchanged here. The issues that seem to important to you right now could possibly be sorted out and resolved in couples counselling. It doesn't sound, from your message, as though you have actually worked on resolving these issues, rather than growing disappointed and biter about it
And it depends on whether you live together, etc.
If you are for whatever reason determined to end this, the coffee shop approach seems generally favoured ( in the sense of choosing a public setting where he might not want to cause a major scene ). Indeed, whenever I visit a coffee shop I wonder how many others there are in the throes of breakin up.
Be gentle and caring in how you speak, as you make i clear he may have been disappointing, but he hasn't been bad.

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: XXX | 2012/01/20

Breaking up is never easy but the simplest way to do it is just tell him as gently as you can.You might want to do so at a coffee shop where he cannot " explode"  with anger.
If he is prone to extreme anger,it is probably best that you dump him anyway.
Good luck

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Maria | 2012/01/20

Is his usual response to get super angry when he is faced with a difficult situation? Has he ever physically assaulted you? Are you living together? All of those factors will play a role in deciding how to tell him.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/01/20

Firstly, it's hard to know without far more details than can be exchanged here. The issues that seem to important to you right now could possibly be sorted out and resolved in couples counselling. It doesn't sound, from your message, as though you have actually worked on resolving these issues, rather than growing disappointed and biter about it
And it depends on whether you live together, etc.
If you are for whatever reason determined to end this, the coffee shop approach seems generally favoured ( in the sense of choosing a public setting where he might not want to cause a major scene ). Indeed, whenever I visit a coffee shop I wonder how many others there are in the throes of breakin up.
Be gentle and caring in how you speak, as you make i clear he may have been disappointing, but he hasn't been bad.

Reply to cybershrink

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