Posted by: mpumi | 2013-01-12

So dissappointed

i dont know whether I am wrong I think when married you are there when sick or when there is anything wrong to your partner you must make sure that you make sure that he/she is ok, but I am experiencing it differently. We got married in 2008 and in 2009 I became sick no one can assist me even hospital I was hospitalised for 3 months because of a terrible headache but in vain, and now when I dream I fall from the bed and it is like someone is trying to kill me and believe you me when I dream it is as if it is for real and when that happens my husband just look at me, I asked him why is he not doing something like getting from the bed and try and take me back to bed or do anything he told me straight that he is sick and tied of me always sick I dont know what to do even yesterday the same thing happened what should I do, but I cant die alone it is as if I am not with someone in the house. Please assist I even told him he does not love me because everytime it happens he just relax he said he needs a divorce for that is he mad or what. But I cannot stay with someone who is not a carring man. I thought he is the most perfect guy I have ever had and this is all what happens, we are only 3 years married but I have assisted him in making his life improve, we are now in our second house, last year his father died he only had 5 thousand I assisted him to bury him he is from Eastern Cape and it is very expensive because you had to consider money for transport first before you can think of burial I contributed a lot, in 2012 December we had an unveiling were we unveiled 4 tombstones of his family and this is all he thank me with. What should I do.

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Our expert says:
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Maybe he just finds all of this puzzling, unexpected, and doesn't know what to do abnout it ? One hopes that friends and relatives will be friendly, concerned and helpful when one is sick, but sadly its true that when an illness or complaint lasts a long time, doesn't have any obvious explanation, and the partner can't see any obvious way to help, they can become discouraged and resentful, and even less helpful.
But surely the most important thing is that you are complaining of an alarming and odd combination of symptoms, but you don't mention having either a diagnosis or treatment for this. Surely you need to see one or more good local doctors for a full assessment, a diagnosis and explanation for the symptoms, and a plan for treating them ? Maybe esure that one of the doc's you see is a psychologist, as they have useful expertise in helping one adjust to and cope with situations like this ?

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