Posted by: Help | 2009-07-30


When my husband and I met we had the same outlook on life. One of the things we agreed on was that smoking was not a choice we would ever make. We used to have a lot of fun. Over the last 4 years he has started smoking to ' unwind' . He promised me several times it would stop but hasn' t been able to. He smokes about 6 per night at least every second night. I know that to most this would sound like nothing, but I have had a couple of lung related deaths in my family over the last couple of years and this really bothers me. He is also diabetic and knows that this is wrong, and says that he can stop, but I don' t know anymore. He even smokes when he is sick or has a cold. I don' t know what to do anymore, it' s taking a toll on me and I feel that it is unfair. We used to be the same people, but I don' t feel very close right now. I' ve told him this, and he says he' ll stop and that he' s not addicted, but I just don' t know what to think anymore.

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Our expert says:
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Maybe he really needs to find an alterative means to unwind. CBT, for instance, can in a couple of sesions teach someone how to unwind non-chemically and safely. And reliably. As you point out, ANY amount of smoking adds to his individual risks of unpleasant disorders, and more so if he is diabetic. Can't you persuade him that while you recognize his wish to unwind, better methods exist, and seeng a therapist could fairly rapidly help him to learn and use them, so that smoking would again become unnecessary for him ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: D | 2009-07-30

Start by laying down some rules, like if his going to smoke, he is only allowed outside and not inside at least you are spared the passive smoking, this should become bothersome to him as it is winter and cold outside and its extra effort, and show him some pictures of lungs affected by smoking............drastic but could become a little effective

Reply to D
Posted by: Paul | 2009-07-30

You can also try Alan Carrs easyway

Reply to Paul

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