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Posted by: Fed up | 2012-05-23

Sleepless nights(nighbours

Good morning everyone. I am not having a good one as, with swollen eyes and headache due to lack of sleep. My partner and i just moved to a new complex. I am even thinking we should move out. The place we moved to there are only few blacks. I’ d hate to think this is a race issue. I am no racist and have no problem with anyone. I have a few white friends and they are good people.
I think it is just a matter of not caring about other people or their feelings.
We moved in Feb and this has been going on since and we always thought it’ ll pass but it gets worse.
The couple next door are older we are in our early twenties. Almost every night when they have sex there will be banging of walls, the bed against the wall or the bed making spring sounds and them making noise. My partner and i do get intimate but when i feel we might wake people i prefer we use the other room or dining so we don’ t wake people. Am I being unreasonable.?
And this happens only after 12.I can take it on weekends but during the week is a nightmare. We were up since 12 last night and he had to wake at to as he was going to MP (work related)
An hour later I decided to go next door to ask them if they can keep it down. Nocks and no reply. When I went back to our flat the guy opens the door and ask what i want i tell him id like to speak to the lady. He says shes sleeping, I say its ok il talk to her in the morning. He responds by saying i can talk to him, I could tell from his unpleasant tone of vice that it is not going to be a good conversation.
I tell him its ok, It isn’ t him i am looking for> He said " i don’ t have time to deal with your fken personal issues and then slam the door. He kept on swearing saying all the fks you can think of. We can hear them very well. Saying he doesnt care we can move our fkn assess out. He kept on swearing, That time is 2am..When he finally kept quiet they continued with their dance. I felt like crying and moving out last night. What happened to ubuntu?
I am so sad and i don’ t want my partner to talk to the guy as i can see the kind of person he is and my partner isn’ t so patient with people like that.
Was i wrong?
I mean i work full time i still need to study for my exams during the week. Weekend we have to spend time with our baby. If i study after work and i get to bed at @12 and then i cant sleep because of the noises.
Had to sleep with our headsets on listerning to music.That was past 3.We both overslept.
What is the way forward? Was i wrong? Should we just move out.? The way he was swearing I was sure we would hear gunshots at our door.
I hate fights and conflicts.
And i am thinking if she comes later i wont entertain it because they knew why iwas at their door but still continued.#sad all day.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Yes, sometimes conflicts may be racial in origin, often they're just related to simply nasty people being selfish and unfriendly.
If the issue is conflict about noisy love-making, it sounds as though you are being sensibly cautious about not disturbing neighbours ( some complexes seem to have micro-thin walls !); but apparently it is your neighbours who are especially noisy and thoughtless about it.
Any complex is surely supposed to have both stated and printed rules of conduct for tenants / owners, and a Body Corporate with the legal responsibility of dealing with breaches of the rules. Get a copy and read the rules carefully, and make a formal complaint to the Body COrporate about your concerns, also stating that when you tried to approach the couple at night when the noise was great, he was so aggressive that you feared taking the matter further with him.
Do you know ( anyway, the Body Corporate must be able to tell you ) whether these ruffians are tenants or owners ? If tenants, the owner of the unit could also be approached, as they have also a responsibility to see that their tenants obey the rules and are considerate of neighbours.
The readers comments siding with the noisy, showing off couple are simply being provicative and foolish. Everyone has the right to legal sex, but not to making excessive noise late at night, for whatever reason. And loud noise, whether vocally or from the bed, is not necessary to enjoy an active and splendid sex life. Your rights would be the same, and their responsibility to be considerate would be the same, if they were playing loud music or holding raucous parties.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sam | 2012-06-10

I think we all, as parents, can rleate to this. Before I had kids, I remember asking a friend of mine who became a mom at 21 whether she regretted having to make, at such a young age, all the sacrifices that come with children. She told me she could never regret the sacrifices because the cost of her children made it all worth it. I didn''t get what she meant then, I didn''t really believe her then, but now I do. It''s amazing how our children can change our priorities and make us forget about what we lost and instead focus on the beautiful faces we''ve gained.Jessica recently posted..

Reply to Sam
Posted by: Jenna | 2012-05-24

I agree with everyone else, I used to work for a complex management company and complaining is definitely the way to go (we had a lady once complain about the people above her for the same reason as you). But be sure to put it in writing that you want to remain anonymous. It may seem like common sense, but in the complex I live in, people have no respect for the rules and everyones dog comes into my yard and uses my garden as a toilet. I complained, about one dog in particular (this dog was barking in MY yard at 02:00 in the morning!) and the stupid body corporate told the owners of the dog who complained and they even gave my email address to them!!! So be sure to tell them NOT to mention your name (it may be obvious to the tenants as well that you complained, but they don’ t have the facts). Just remember to lock your gates too- the previous complex I was living in had a tenant that would come home and blast his music from his car laaaaate at night/ eeeeaaarrrrllllyyyyy in the morning (and shout and rev his car, etc) and I eventually asked him one night to please keep quite and stop revving his car and this guy came to my unit and started pushing and pulling the gate and the door trying to get in the unit. I had to call security. Be careful. But there is a rule in ALL complex rules that state that a occupant may not make so much noise in his unit that it is disturbing to other occupants.

Reply to Jenna
Posted by: Brian | 2012-05-23

Lay a charge of disturbing the Peace at the Cops - the next time he starts his Shiiit - Call the Cops - tell them to come out and see for themselves - when he opens he''s door and sees who it is - hell craap himself - I guarantee it!!

Reply to Brian
Posted by: Gracie | 2012-05-23

You don''t owe anyone any explanations as to why you are awake or not at that hour ... the issue here is your inconsiderate and boorish neighbour!

Reply to Gracie
Posted by: Fed up. | 2012-05-23

I thought since we are all mature we can have an understanding but clearly i was wrong.We will put it in writting.
Thank you guys.

Reply to Fed up.
Posted by: Fed up | 2012-05-23

I study and sleep around 10 or 11.And the reasong for us to be up at that time is because of the noise.we are woken up by the noise.

Reply to Fed up
Posted by: Gracie | 2012-05-23

Keep your side clean - don''t confront these inconsiderate people. Write a letter, send a fax or email to the body corporate (keep your complaints in writing). There is a rule against noise in any sectional title complex or block of flats. They should have the common courtesy to think of the people around them - listening to other people having sex must the worst way to be kept awake. Your neighbour sounds like a real selfish pig, try to avoid any confrontation with them and report them as soon as possible. The fact that they are older than you and having sex at all hours is not the issue here, the fact that they are so noisy is the problem. Good luck, sounds like you need it!!!

Reply to Gracie
Posted by: Romany | 2012-05-23

You need to approach the Body Corporate with your problem. If you are renting, the owner of the flat needs to be contacted and he needs to address the problem with the Body Corp, if he thinks it is necesasary.
Unfortunately, in a complex you are sharing a small area with other people and that is just how it is.
Maybe it will be better if you guys move into a house? Where you have no-one else on the other side of your walls?
Yes, a house is not as safe, but then.... you need to decide what is more important to you?
Maybe move your bedroom to the other room?

Reply to Romany
Posted by: Dildo | 2012-05-23

They do their thing after 12 what you''ll still up doing in the wee hours, what is your suggestion stop having sex?

Reply to Dildo
Posted by: Rosco Dash | 2012-05-23

Ealrly 20''s couple beat by seniors shame man, they will reqret the day i was their neighbour i can go 1 and half hr none stop you''ll lazy, leave the oldies to enjoy their sex shame on you young couple lol.

Reply to Rosco Dash
Posted by: Maria | 2012-05-23

That sounds really unpleasant. Have you spoken to the body corporate about it? Many body corporates have rules about noise. Otherwise, invest in earplugs.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Rishaan | 2012-05-23

I had a similiar problem - but yours is worse. I complained but it fell on deaf ears. I could not move out as i bought the place and the nose makers were just renting. This went on for months, until one Staurday when the swearing started. I got the police involved (fortunately my friend is a Captian at the police station), that was an eye opener for the body corporate. They eventually decided to give them an evection notice. I aslo drew up a letter and made the fellow residents sign it. That was handed to the police and body coporate. But your neighbour seems to be a really violent guy and i would suggest you guys avoid physical confrontation as it could lead to something violent. I can realte to waht to are saying and i really feel for you.

Reply to Rishaan
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-05-23

Yes, sometimes conflicts may be racial in origin, often they're just related to simply nasty people being selfish and unfriendly.
If the issue is conflict about noisy love-making, it sounds as though you are being sensibly cautious about not disturbing neighbours ( some complexes seem to have micro-thin walls !); but apparently it is your neighbours who are especially noisy and thoughtless about it.
Any complex is surely supposed to have both stated and printed rules of conduct for tenants / owners, and a Body Corporate with the legal responsibility of dealing with breaches of the rules. Get a copy and read the rules carefully, and make a formal complaint to the Body COrporate about your concerns, also stating that when you tried to approach the couple at night when the noise was great, he was so aggressive that you feared taking the matter further with him.
Do you know ( anyway, the Body Corporate must be able to tell you ) whether these ruffians are tenants or owners ? If tenants, the owner of the unit could also be approached, as they have also a responsibility to see that their tenants obey the rules and are considerate of neighbours.
The readers comments siding with the noisy, showing off couple are simply being provicative and foolish. Everyone has the right to legal sex, but not to making excessive noise late at night, for whatever reason. And loud noise, whether vocally or from the bed, is not necessary to enjoy an active and splendid sex life. Your rights would be the same, and their responsibility to be considerate would be the same, if they were playing loud music or holding raucous parties.

Reply to cybershrink

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