Our expert says:
Why does she feel you should support her brother ? Can't he support himself ? And if he has needs, why can't he be man enough to discuss it with you, rather than expecting her to do the begging for him ? And if he actually needs and deserves help and support and is absolutely unable to work and support himself, why does she gossip to the rest of the family, rather than getting them to share the burden ?
And of course you're right, that these should never be Demands, but requests, with full recognition that you have the right to accept or refuse them. As you observe, she doesn't even bother to call the older brother because she knows he is sensible and assertive enough to refuse. Learn his methods and do likewise.
Maybe rather invest jointly in some marriage counselling sessions to learn how to be assertive in thwe face of this unfair pressure.
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