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Question
Posted by: Hi | 2008/11/27

Skoonma

Hi

Ek weet nie waar om te begin nie,maar ek weet nie meer wat om te doen nie.Ek en my man is 2 jaar getroud en ek is vreeslik lief vir hom.En ek probeer die vrede te bewaar,maar ek kan nie meer stil bly nie.Ek het ' n skoonma wat vreeslik inmeng in alles.En ek meen soos in alles.Ek weet nie wat om mee te doen nie.As ons iets koop moet ons dit weg steek van haar anders as sy uit vind dan gaan sy daaroor aan al werk ons vir ons eie geld.As ek besluit neem en sy vind dit op ' n manier uit dan is dit nooit goed genoeg nie.Ons het al so baie met haar daaroor gepraat,maar sy raak so kwaad dan los ons dit, maar liewer.Dit voel net wat ons ook al doen sy moet haar vinger daarin he en die ergste is ons vertel haar nooit omtrent iets nie en ons bly ook nie in die selfde huis nie.,maar sy weet altyd wat aangaan.Wat moet ons doen?

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Our expert says:
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I think some men, even more than others, form a habit of allowing their mom to run their lives : "I'll go out and play rugby ; she'll see to the washing for me" ; and its a habit both they and their mothers can find very hard to give up when they marry. She needs to be gently told, bu both of you together, that while you will appreciate her advice when you ask for it, you are happier to run your lives yourselves now, without uninvited advice. How you choose to spend the moeny you earn, will be your business, and you won't appreciate comments from her. If she gets angry, just leave saying you'll be pleased to see her when she calms down, and don't get involved in her anger. But make it clear that you won't give in to her anger, and might have to separate yourselves, and see less and less of her unless she can change this bad habit
I also wonder whether she feels redundant and lonely, and perhaps has very little else to do. Maybe you can between you find other things she can get involved in --- church, community groups, old friends, whatever, to keep herself busy with anything except worrying about your lives.
And check out her sources of information --- what spy network does she have so she can remain so informed about everything you do ? Identify those blabbering people and tell them to stop it or you'll cut them out of your lives, too.

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: hi | 2008/11/28

Sorry daardie sin het nie reg uitgekom nie..hehe sorry

Reply to hi
Posted by: hi | 2008/11/28

My man het dit al gedoen en nog steeds doen sy dit nog steeds.Ons weet nie meer wat om aan te vang nie ons is so moedeloos.

Reply to hi
Posted by: Lin | 2008/11/28

Die beste sal wees as jou man vir haar sagtens se'  dis nou julle besluite en basta. Moenie haar konfronteer of ontstel nie, maar maak dit duidelik dat daar boundaries is en sy is besig om dit te oortree.

Reply to Lin

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