Posted by: Where to lodge a complaint?? | 2011-05-31


Due to differences and things said I stopped sending money for my two boys.
I am GOING to pay, I just need the mother to explain some issues to me.Right now she is ignoring my calls because she knows the issues.
The court wants to see me and her (and for me to give my side in terms of what I can pay) in the next three weeks.
Do I need to lay this complaint beforehand in the court near me ?This is about things she SAID that stopped me from giving her anything.
Advise on the process as I don''t want to put my children through this for any longer.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageFamily law expert

You can't withhold maintenance from your children due to an issue with the mother. Both parents have a legal duty to support their children. The law says that children whose parents do not give them reasonable care can sue their parents.

The duty of parents to support their children ends when the children become independent, for example when they marry, or when they reach the age of 18 and are self-supporting.

Bertus Preller
B.Proc; AD Dip L Law
Family Law Attorney
Abrahams and Gross Inc.
A:1st Floor, 56 Shortmarket Street, Cape Town, 8000
O: +27 (0) 21 422 1323
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Our users say:
Posted by: sivan | 2011-06-06

Thank you people,
That is why most women manipulate the system.The law is on their favour,
At the end the children suffer.
It kills me knowing that i have not provided but the law must also protect men to those SELFISH women.
Thanks XYZ,
FIO : I will give those pointers a thought.

Reply to sivan
Posted by: FIO | 2011-06-03

Do not stop paying maintenance, if you are wrong it is going to be very hard for you to explain why you have done this. Paying up is a different matter to what ex does or says. Seperate the two otherwise you will be in trouble.

If you ar ein doubt about paternity, go to court and request a paternity test. Based on the results determine the way forward.

In terms of maintenance, that needs to then be determined by Maintenance court. In terms of things that get said and done, that needs to be resolved through Childrens Court or through you attending mediation to draft a parenting plan that sets out the " rules"  of parenting, and have it made a court order. If anyone transgresses,within reason, you will have the right to take the matter back to the court for resolving.

But do not under any circumstances stop payments, all that will do is harm the child, and how will you explain that to a court?

Reply to FIO
Posted by: XYZ | 2011-06-02

Pay for now. In the meantime request that she arranges a paternity test (at her cost). If the child isn''t yours you can claim back what you have paid up to now.

Reply to XYZ
Posted by: Sivan | 2011-06-01

The mother of my boy told me the child is not mine.I questioned about the damages I had paid but she said her mum will take care of the baby.
I got mad.Tell me I have been looking after this child since birth {for nine months),now a year old.I realise this was not good on my part but what were you to do,
I feel this need to be known but herself and her family don''t want to talk to me.Can the court listen?
It''s not that I don''t want to maintain the child but that big argument we had forced the decision I made.
Where do the court fit in this ?

Reply to Sivan
Posted by: Romany | 2011-05-31

There is no justification to stop paying for your children, no matter what your ex wife is saying.

Reply to Romany

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