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Question
Posted by: Emma | 2012/08/14

Situation at work

Dear Cybershrink,

I have recently entered the job market again after an absence of eight years. I am a female and I work exclusive with females. My problem is that story-telling, back-stabbing, etc is rife at my workplace. I guess this is a common problem when a lot of women work together but I am finding it very difficult to deal with the situation. I understand if you don''t like someone but, according to me, don''t be friends with them in front of them but tell stories about them behind their backs. I need some advice on how to deal with this situation.

Thank you, Emma

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Maria's response sounds about right. Yes, backstabbing is so sadly common at many a workplace ( if it were an Olympic event, so many would wualify for a Gold medal). Its not limited to women, either. As maria says, rather than alienate the malicious gossips, try to find ways in which to abstain, excusing yourself, in ways that don't directly annoy them but make it clear you don't wish to take part in sharing unpleasant comments about others.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Maria | 2012/08/14

Be friendly with everyone, but don''t make friends with people who behave like that. If you are in a group where someone starts to tell a negative story, leave. If someone is talking to you one-on-one, excuse yourself and leave, or tell her " I don''t need to know that"  / " I prefer not to hear stories about colleagues" . Good luck, it''s not pleasant.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/08/14

Maria's response sounds about right. Yes, backstabbing is so sadly common at many a workplace ( if it were an Olympic event, so many would wualify for a Gold medal). Its not limited to women, either. As maria says, rather than alienate the malicious gossips, try to find ways in which to abstain, excusing yourself, in ways that don't directly annoy them but make it clear you don't wish to take part in sharing unpleasant comments about others.

Reply to cybershrink

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