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Question
Posted by: Nobantu | 2010/09/06

Sister and our finances

I have been married for 1 year now with my husband, we have a problem with the 2 step daughter, she is going to high school next year, his sister offered that she wants to take the 2 girls, but I am not sure what she is trying to do, because she does not involve me in anything they only talk the two of them, my husband and herself regarding the school fees and how much he must take out for food as the girls will be staying with him.

Today I asked him how far are they because I can see that time is going its already September and he is not saying anything, the problem I have is that the sister wants money for herself and she does not want me she knows that if he does that then I am going to be cross and then we will fight. My husband is not aware of that and he always says that I dont like his sister, we have a 2 year old son who will be starting creche next year I told him that I think I must start looking for creche because I can see that next year its going to be a problem I will be left alone, all the money will be taken to the sister because she keeps on saying I dont want the daughters to be educated, and yet she is not aware of our finances, what do I need to do, I have decided that we need to separate our money like before because he is now playing, I think he married me to assist him educate his kids.

This month I am getting bonus at work he keeps on asking what am I going to do with my money I told him I want to deposit my father''s tombstone, and he said with his he is going to pay school fees for his kids.

What do I need to do?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

As you are obviously affected by any decisions he might make about your stepdaughter, he ought to discuss these plans with you. He should not be supporting his sister, who can surely work and earn for herself, now that he is married and has responsibilities for his wife and new family. He has FULL financial responsibility for your child together. What happened to the mother of the step=daughters ? Did she die or has she abandoned her children ? If she's alive, couldn't she contribute in some way to their expenses ?
Keeping yout money separate from his may be a very good idea, as he certainly shouldn't be allocating any of your money to his sister without your contented approval.
Spend YOUR money on your father's tomb-stone if that is what you wish - he should expect your to spend your own money on supporting his daughters by someone else.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: I believe | 2010/09/06

Let him deposit school fees for his kids and u on the other side deposit the tombsone for ur father..Man can be real selfish sometimes, he is excluding in all the planning and expect u to help him financially? No let him and the sister go ahead and just watch them.

Having a man like that i think it best that u handle ur money separate, but still let him take part of his responsibilities like, paying the house bond, and also helping with ur son..

Reply to I believe
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/09/06

As you are obviously affected by any decisions he might make about your stepdaughter, he ought to discuss these plans with you. He should not be supporting his sister, who can surely work and earn for herself, now that he is married and has responsibilities for his wife and new family. He has FULL financial responsibility for your child together. What happened to the mother of the step=daughters ? Did she die or has she abandoned her children ? If she's alive, couldn't she contribute in some way to their expenses ?
Keeping yout money separate from his may be a very good idea, as he certainly shouldn't be allocating any of your money to his sister without your contented approval.
Spend YOUR money on your father's tomb-stone if that is what you wish - he should expect your to spend your own money on supporting his daughters by someone else.

Reply to cybershrink

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