Our expert says:
As you are obviously affected by any decisions he might make about your stepdaughter, he ought to discuss these plans with you. He should not be supporting his sister, who can surely work and earn for herself, now that he is married and has responsibilities for his wife and new family. He has FULL financial responsibility for your child together. What happened to the mother of the step=daughters ? Did she die or has she abandoned her children ? If she's alive, couldn't she contribute in some way to their expenses ?
Keeping yout money separate from his may be a very good idea, as he certainly shouldn't be allocating any of your money to his sister without your contented approval.
Spend YOUR money on your father's tomb-stone if that is what you wish - he should expect your to spend your own money on supporting his daughters by someone else.
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