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Posted by: Salamina | 2010-07-21

SINGLE LADY

I have been single for the past 2 years and yes I am looking people think I will never found a man because I am too choosey. I am not sure if this is a problem or what whenever I meet someone who tells me he does not have his own place then I get turned off immediately and what comes to my mind is this man wiill want to move in with me.
If he does not have a car what comes to my mind is he will want to drive my car then its another turn off. I am not sure how to handle this except to find a man whos got all those. I am a mother of a 12 year old girl and if I meet someone who does not have a child its another turn off or if he''s got more than 2 kids its a turn off. I am lonely and I need a partner

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

There are probably more problems arising from being not choosy enough, than from being too choosy !
It is wise for you to be cautious of guys who may want to use you in some way - and its not unreasonable to expect a man to get financially secure before expecting a woman to take him seriously for a relationship.
I don't quite understand why you'd find it a turn-off if the guy doesn't already have a child ( by someone else ) - doesn't that suggest he may be careful and prudent ? OK, if he mas more than 2 kids by other women it hardly sugests he is serious about settling down and being faithful ( nor that he is seriously concerned about whether the kids he makes will be well cared for ).

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Our users say:
Posted by: D. | 2010-07-22

I am a single girl and very weary of going out with a guy that has kids from a previous marriage/relationship. So it works both ways. Why must I take on someone else''s baggage and issues with the ex? I am happily single, no complications and I am not lonely. I enjoy my space and time. I want a guy to add value to my life, not make me go backwards and deplete my energy!!!

Reply to D.
Posted by: boy | 2010-07-22

i want a sugarmommy

Reply to boy
Posted by: Phil | 2010-07-22

I think you are perfectly normal. Who wants to date a looser at our age? I mean, if you have a child of 12, then you are a grown up with responsibilities. A man at the same age that hasn''t got his own place, or car, hell run as fast as you can. I also won''t date a woman that isn''t independant and no goals. The child thing, well some of us don''t ever want to have kids again, so if I date again a woman without kids might not be right for me. Because someone without kids might want kids. So u r fine, relax..

Reply to Phil
Posted by: LP | 2010-07-22

what is wrong with a guy who does not have kids? he might just not have met the right lady yet....and might be a great role model for your daughter

Reply to LP
Posted by: Salmina | 2010-07-21

Thank you Bi I thought something was wrong with me and people keep saying I will never find the man that I am looking for because I am too choosy and I tell them that yes I must choose because I know what I want

Reply to Salmina
Posted by: bi | 2010-07-21

I would not go out with a man who was not independant and sorted out. The children issue may be a bit overboard, however, do not settle.
You are the best, right?
So you deserve only the best.
It may be worth it to wait until the right man comes along, else they ride your success, live in your home, ride your car - all the things you have clearly worked hard for and are proud of.

Reply to bi
Posted by: XXX | 2010-07-21

We all have some baggage to carry so be careful about being too picky but at the same time live up to your expectations.
The fact that you have a child might be an " issue"  for some man,.so think of it both ways.
Good luck

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Salamina | 2010-07-21

Butterfly I understand you the thing is I have worked so hard to be where I am today and I have waited for so long just to settle in for the sake of not being lonely

Reply to Salamina
Posted by: Butterfly | 2010-07-21

Not to be rude but you are too picky I had a friend like you &  to date she hasnt met anyone that is up to her " standard."  By all means you should be careful but love is a compromise &  if you not will to compromise &  deal with it you always gonna be alone. Give a guy a chance you never know you could be happier than you ever were before, good luck :)

Reply to Butterfly
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-07-21

There are probably more problems arising from being not choosy enough, than from being too choosy !
It is wise for you to be cautious of guys who may want to use you in some way - and its not unreasonable to expect a man to get financially secure before expecting a woman to take him seriously for a relationship.
I don't quite understand why you'd find it a turn-off if the guy doesn't already have a child ( by someone else ) - doesn't that suggest he may be careful and prudent ? OK, if he mas more than 2 kids by other women it hardly sugests he is serious about settling down and being faithful ( nor that he is seriously concerned about whether the kids he makes will be well cared for ).

Reply to cybershrink

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