Our expert says:
There are probably more problems arising from being not choosy enough, than from being too choosy !
It is wise for you to be cautious of guys who may want to use you in some way - and its not unreasonable to expect a man to get financially secure before expecting a woman to take him seriously for a relationship.
I don't quite understand why you'd find it a turn-off if the guy doesn't already have a child ( by someone else ) - doesn't that suggest he may be careful and prudent ? OK, if he mas more than 2 kids by other women it hardly sugests he is serious about settling down and being faithful ( nor that he is seriously concerned about whether the kids he makes will be well cared for ).
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