Our expert says:
There are no general laws about this, and we vary. Counselling can help, as can a srong sense of personal realism --- "what if" must be recognizes as a useless line of thinking, and rejected when it arises. What if your had been born a horse ? What if this had happened 100 years ago ? The fact is none of the what if's apply --- that happened is what did happen, not any variation on that. What might have happened is irrelevant. What can happen next, is what is important
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