Our expert says:
If you actually don't want a birthday cake, just tell him that, without making it part of any ongoing arguyment. If there IS someting you would rather have for your birthday, tell him that.
Separately ( and maybe this is what you could ask him to give you for your birthday ) it soundas as though thr pair of you, if this relationship is to prosper, need some sessions of couples counselling, both to deal with any specific issues that cause problems between you, and to enhance both of your problem-solving skills, so as to deal better with arguments or differences that arise in the future
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