Our expert says:
It's hard to handle someone who deals with problems and issues in such a childish and unhelpful way. Marriage counseling would be the best bet, if you could persuade him to accept sincere participation in it --- even if he needs to see it as aiming at helping him deal with the problems he thinks you cause, it can deal with the real problems ! Presumably he's bad at communicating, anyway, and especially in emotional matters, but he can learn thsi skill to a useful degree. He has found a technique that's reasonably comfortable for him and works to some extent, so long as its clear that you are upset by it. If he refuses counselling at this stage, see a counsellor on your own and (a) that can help you find better ways to deal with this, and (b) may worry him to think about whatever you might be talking about in his absence, and he may consider joining the process
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