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Question
Posted by: Albert | 2011/12/01

Silence

I hope you can help as me and my wife are understanding each other... She feels that I am unreasonable. As an example last week I told her it owuld be nice if we could go Christmas shopping together. On Sat monring I mereley wanted to confirm with her if all still ok and asked her: " You want to come along still for the shopping?"  She then became silent and told me after an hour that she now thinks I did not want her to have her come along. Long story short, she joined me with the outing but did not say a word for the whole day. I confronted her the evening and told her that I find it childish of her to ''sulk'' like a child merely for her misinterpreting a question incorrectly. I honestly just confirmed with her that morning whether she is still ok with going for shopping or not... Was it wrong of me to call her childish?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I agre with Opinion, and you need to make such a position clear for her. If she refuses to work sincerely with you and a counsellor to try and sort things out, you have no alternatives but to accept the highly unsatisfactory situation as it is, or to see a lawyer and plan a divorce.
If she considers you to be unreasomnable, her refusal to accept expert help, is even more unreasonable.
From your description, yes indeed she is being childish and sulky. Whether its useful to tell her that, depends on you, her, and the occasion

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Charlotte | 2011/12/01

I might be wrong but I suspect there is more to only this one incident, she sounds a bit immature and may be suffering from low self esteem and took it the complete worng way when you asked her if she is still coming along for shopping, I think she immediately thought why are you asking me that if we already decided that we are going together and in my book, x-mas shopping should be an exiting thing for a couple to do together anyway, I know my hubbywon''t miss that for the world, I think he just want to check if I''m not spending all our money!! :-) :-), no seriously my feeling is that there is a deeper issue here on her side. Maybe she can go for councelling on her own first after you can possibly ask her why she reacted so childish and that you think there are other things bothering her re. herself? Again, this is only my personal opinion, I might be totally wrong too!! Good luck I hope you can get to the bottom of the problem.

Reply to Charlotte
Posted by: ..... | 2011/12/01

She is just a spolit b*tch!! lose her

Reply to .....
Posted by: Opinion | 2011/12/01

If she refuses to improve the situation you have 2 choices.
1. Accept this behaviour
2. Divorce

Reply to Opinion
Posted by: albert | 2011/12/01

I have begged her that we go for councelling. We went once but she walked out after 30 min as she does not like it to discuss our matters with strangers... She now refuses that we see someone.

Reply to albert
Posted by: Opinion | 2011/12/01

Yes, name calling and labeling is never helpful.
Couples councellig is the way to go....or divorce

Reply to Opinion
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/12/01

I agre with Opinion, and you need to make such a position clear for her. If she refuses to work sincerely with you and a counsellor to try and sort things out, you have no alternatives but to accept the highly unsatisfactory situation as it is, or to see a lawyer and plan a divorce.
If she considers you to be unreasomnable, her refusal to accept expert help, is even more unreasonable.
From your description, yes indeed she is being childish and sulky. Whether its useful to tell her that, depends on you, her, and the occasion

Reply to cybershrink

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