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Question
Posted by: starr | 2009/12/08

Signs of having an affair

I have suspected for some time my husband is having an affair I only have hearsay as proof and the change in his sex drive he does not want to do anything new or give me pleasure and have noticed a change in the way he does it we have been together for 9 years and I feel a change in the way he touches me and he just wants to finish. what are the signs off an affair?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Very difficult to identify 'signs of an affair'. Some people would say that this is probably what it happening just on the changes to your intimacy; but you need to consider other information too. What is the hearsay information - are people literally telling you that they have seen something? What happens if you ask him about the changes you have noticed; how does he respond? What is it that has made you suspicious for a long time; is there other information? Sadly affairs are a reality and whilst I can't say that what you have described is clearly a sign of an affair; it could be. It could also be something else - eg. stress, depression, feeling that he can't please you sexually, frustration/anger if your sexual interest has reduced over the 9 years (which often does happen, by the way). Before you speak to him, think about how you would respond if he is having an affair, what would you do?

Sorry I can't be more help than that...it is not always as simple as a cluster of signs...but sometimes it is! If he denies it, you are still left with uncertainty - how will you handle that?

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Our users say:
Posted by: bEE | 2009/12/09

My goodness, never knew that. Thanks for the TIP.

Reply to bEE
Posted by: Sniff him out | 2009/12/09

After sex there is a distinctive odour/ smell caused by secretions from the vagina during sex. If someone is having sex and then puts on his underpants, the secretions adhereing to his penis is transferred to the underpants.... hence the telltale smell.

Reply to Sniff him out
Posted by: Bee | 2009/12/09

What do you sniff for? Is it different to the normal smells? I have never smelled my husbands underpants so wouldnt know the difference

Reply to Bee
Posted by: Sniff him out | 2009/12/08

A woman I know suspected her hubby was fooling around so she started sniffing his underpants. The guy forgot that liittle aspect and she caught him out. It was all she needed to make up her mind, no further proof necessary !!

Reply to Sniff him out
Posted by: A man | 2009/12/08

There are many signs, just put your question into Google and you will see what it says, but a woman usually knows these things, it' s virtually impossible for a man to have an affair for a lengthy period without getting caught out. Follow your instincts, as they are probably correct.

Reply to A man
Posted by: Sexologist | 2009/12/08

Very difficult to identify 'signs of an affair'. Some people would say that this is probably what it happening just on the changes to your intimacy; but you need to consider other information too. What is the hearsay information - are people literally telling you that they have seen something? What happens if you ask him about the changes you have noticed; how does he respond? What is it that has made you suspicious for a long time; is there other information? Sadly affairs are a reality and whilst I can't say that what you have described is clearly a sign of an affair; it could be. It could also be something else - eg. stress, depression, feeling that he can't please you sexually, frustration/anger if your sexual interest has reduced over the 9 years (which often does happen, by the way). Before you speak to him, think about how you would respond if he is having an affair, what would you do?

Sorry I can't be more help than that...it is not always as simple as a cluster of signs...but sometimes it is! If he denies it, you are still left with uncertainty - how will you handle that?

Reply to Sexologist

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