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Question
Posted by: Bangers ''n Mash | 2011-11-21

Sigh.........

Hi CS,

My husband is addicted to a computer game. It has been 2 years now and I feel I can''t fight it anymore. If I confront him, then I am picking a fight. The kids go to him when he is on his computer and ask him for food, he does not help them and this upsets me greatly. I feel I put in my effort in the home and in the small business we run together. He sits and plays his game for about 12 hours a day. The game includes a Skype chat room. Now I am wondering if he has met someone as when we arrive home from somewhere, he goes straight to his computer and types. I have looked at the conversations, which are from many pseudonyms and I don''t really understand them. They write about this game and different strategies, or at least that is what I think. When I approach him, he closes the programs he is on.

Are there other signs to look out for if there is an online relationship?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its not a true adiction, but of course it can be a major problem where someone chooses not to control their behaviour in this way ( and this is why CBT is a useful form of treatment for it ).
Its a fair measure than any such behaviour is pathological and needs treatment, where it negatively affects marriage, relationships, and the welfare of children. That he closes the programs when you come near is suspicious, and more often relates to someone getting too involved in emotional and sexual chat sites, rather than online games as such. So as you suspect, there could be an unwise relationship here.
But its not an issue of "signs", but of frank discussion, calmly, firmly, but not unpleasantly, making it clear that this behaviour is suspicious and hurtful for you and the kids, and has to change.
Lets see what other readers may suggest

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-11-21

Its not a true adiction, but of course it can be a major problem where someone chooses not to control their behaviour in this way ( and this is why CBT is a useful form of treatment for it ).
Its a fair measure than any such behaviour is pathological and needs treatment, where it negatively affects marriage, relationships, and the welfare of children. That he closes the programs when you come near is suspicious, and more often relates to someone getting too involved in emotional and sexual chat sites, rather than online games as such. So as you suspect, there could be an unwise relationship here.
But its not an issue of "signs", but of frank discussion, calmly, firmly, but not unpleasantly, making it clear that this behaviour is suspicious and hurtful for you and the kids, and has to change.
Lets see what other readers may suggest

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