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Question
Posted by: Chanel | 2008/10/05

sielkundige probleme???

Dit mag dalk klink na ' n alledaagse probleem maar ek' s redelik bekommerd oor die vriend wat my dogter ontmoet het. Hy' s 19 en sy in standerd 8. Hulle het mekaar deur vriende ontmoet en hy het haar selfoon nommer gevra. Die eerste aand wat hulle begin kommunikeer het, het hy na ' n paar sms' e vir haar gevra wat dink sy van seks, na dit kom die volgende sms, wat dink sy van orale seks, en na ' n paar ander sms' e vra hy vir haar watter nommer skoen sy dra. My dogter is grootgemaak in ' n Christelike huis vol liefde en sy het vir hom eerlik gesê  sy voel sy' s te jonk vir seks en stel nie nou daarin belang nie. Daarna het hy nie weer ' n woord daaroor gerep nie. Hy het ook al hier by ons kom kuier dan kom hy voor as die mees opgevoedste persoon wat jy kan ontmoet, maar in my agterkop bly daai vrae vassteek wat hy haar gevra het. Sy kinderdae was redelik onstuimig as gevolg van sy ouers se optrede. Dit mag dalk simpel klink en ek soos ' n ouer wat verniet stres maar ek vertrou nie die situasie nie. Sy verskoning van die skoengrootte aan haar was hy wil vir haar skoene koop (wat dalk soos ' n grap klink), wat ek natuurlik nie glo nie want waar in jou lewe koop ' n man vir ' n meisie wat hy nou net ontmoet het nuwe skoene, ek voel hy' s nie wat hy voordoen nie. Kan dit wees dat hy onderliggende seksuele probleme het en kan dit gevaarlik vir my dogter wees. Ek het op die internet probeer oplees oor " foot fetishes"  en of dit mense is met sielkundige probleme want ek weet bitter min daaroor, maar kon nie by veel van ' n antwoord uitkom nie. Ek voel net by dogter is te jonk om by so iets betrokke te raak, en sy begin ook nou al ongemaklik voel na sy vrae. Kan u dalk asb raad gee??

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

oza's response is excellent. IF there's foot fetishism involved, that's not necessarily a problem. Where it's a mild question of interests and preferences ( some men are especially fond of a girl's legs, or her breats ) --- fetishes tend to be a problem when they become excessive and exclusive --- when a guy is interested in nothing about a woman EXCEPT her feet, he has a problem, and counselling could help him remember to enjoy a relationship with an entire woman and not just one aspect of her

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: oza | 2008/10/06

Chanel
You may have cause to be concerned as a mother but your daughter will be exposed to people like this you cannot protect her but you can fore warn her.
He could just be a kid who is using urban legends to try determine something or he may have a fetish of liking girls with big or small feet? Who knows but him?
He could very well be a decent young guy with a broad mind.
How does your daughter feel about him ? this post is all your concerns, with in your rights as a mother.
Is she interested in him then you may find him trying to put peer pressure on her perhaps a open talk with your daughter to the possibilities of young boys / men out there and the dangers you will need to do this sometime in her life.
I would have been a little concerned on the sex chat he had on a mobile phone, but youngsters of today see things different and it’ s a pity they do not realise a mobile is not a means of communicating certain things.

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