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Question
Posted by: Pale | 2012/02/23

Shy?

Hi Doc,

Can shyness be cured? I have been shy since forever and I was often told I will grow out of it and at 30 I still am shy. I constantly have to talk myself into things so that I prove to myself that I can do it, but when I have to do, especially if it involves people, I get sweaty palms, I want to cry and just feel horrible.
Please tell me there is something that can be done. I am tired of being like this.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Yes it certainly can. Its a mixture of behavior and habits of thought which can when severe be called Social Phobia or Social Anxiety Disorder. While some drugs may help, the best treatment is CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ) which helps you to shange those negative ( and inaccurate !) assumptions about yourself, change the negative thought habits, and learn to behave and then feel, confident and comfortable when socializing with other people. So you neednt remain so unhappy and uneasy for much longer. See a good local psychologist for assessment and a discussion of this treatment

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/02/25

Yes it certainly can. Its a mixture of behavior and habits of thought which can when severe be called Social Phobia or Social Anxiety Disorder. While some drugs may help, the best treatment is CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ) which helps you to shange those negative ( and inaccurate !) assumptions about yourself, change the negative thought habits, and learn to behave and then feel, confident and comfortable when socializing with other people. So you neednt remain so unhappy and uneasy for much longer. See a good local psychologist for assessment and a discussion of this treatment

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Patsy | 2012/02/24

I was also very shy when I was younger, did not even eat in front of other people, did not take part in conversations, was always the quiet little mouse in the corner. I refused invitations to go out and eventually found myself very, very lonely. I eventually started taking part in conversations at work, serious ones as well as just chatting and saw that people were actually listening to what I was saying, laughing at funny comments I made (that I thought were silly comments). Somehow I managed to gain confidence and wow look at me now, cannot stop talking, laughing and getting on with others. Your situation may be different to mine, but I did eventually get over it. Somehow I think my ''shyness'' may have been a result of being in a marriage and subsequent relationship where I was told that I am ugly and stupid and that people don''t like me! I withdrew into myself completely, but I am fine now. You would probably do well discussing this with a therapist who will be able to give you the correct advice. Good luck, I really hope all works out well for you!

Reply to Patsy

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