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Question
Posted by: linkie | 2010/02/16

shuld i move on?

my b-friend(30) and i (25)have been together since september.

wen we met everything was perfect we were both madly in love with each other, we spent a lot of time together, in the 1st month he introduced me to his uncle(father figure) and his sister and all of his friends. he even admitted that if it was for family (siblings and parents) responsiblity he wuld marry me, but wants to finish sending them to school and hopefully get a better salary increase so he can be able to marry me.

He went to visit his parents in November to tell them about me and since his uncle had also told them about me and came back to tell me his mother is happy that he has found someone he loves. a few days after coming back to see them he started withdrawing from me, he told me he had a lot of things going to thru his mind, i stayed a week without seeing him and he didnt phone as well. a week later i decided to call and find out wat was wrong and he apologised dat sometimes he can be selfish wen he is stressed. i broke up with him for dat , but we got back together a week later after realising dat i cant keep breaking up whenever things get sour in my relationships

wen we got back 2gather everything was even better dan wen we first met. but the issue was that my yeast infection was not going away n it started to infect his penis and he suggested we abstain , i got upset bcos dat for me means we will start behaving like friends until he cheats bcos of not getting sex. 2 days later of no phone calls from him, i decide to talk to him over IM and he tells me that he is sorry but has a lot of issues running thru his mind, and he feels he has hurt a lot of people in his life(ex girlfriends) and he feels he is doing the same thing to me and he is not proud. i asked if he loved me and he said yes, but he needs no make sure...he said its dat time he needs to be alone again

pls tell me what to do, shuld i hang in there and give him space or shuld i move on?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Woudln't it be a good idea for the pair of you to see a couples counsellor to work on the points of friction between you ? And a yeast infection shouldn't take a long time to clear up if treated properly - and abstaining from sex for a chort time shouldn't be a difficulty, and avoids the problem of you infecting him, you clearing up the infection then getting re-infected by him, and so on.
He sounds like a sensible and conscientious person, trying to work out the right things to do. Encourage that

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: qwerty | 2010/02/17

You' ve known him for less than 6 months.... You shouldn' t be thinking about marriage at this point! Give him the space he needs to figure things out, and then just enjoy the relationship for a bit without the added pressure of a pending engagement.

Get to know each other a bit better first!

Reply to qwerty
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/02/16

Woudln't it be a good idea for the pair of you to see a couples counsellor to work on the points of friction between you ? And a yeast infection shouldn't take a long time to clear up if treated properly - and abstaining from sex for a chort time shouldn't be a difficulty, and avoids the problem of you infecting him, you clearing up the infection then getting re-infected by him, and so on.
He sounds like a sensible and conscientious person, trying to work out the right things to do. Encourage that

Reply to cybershrink

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