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Posted by: nn | 2011/01/06

Show offs

This is kind of bugging me and I know it should not but I need some opinions on this please.
I have a friend who is good looking and goes go gym religiously and has a very sexy body. But he always puts up these pics on FB and BBM of him topless pulling a pose. I do nto want to judge and he can do as he please but it just makes me laugh that all the pictures he has is of himself with his shirt off. Surely he is good looking enough and has a good enough personality to attract women so why do that? surely it is looking for trouble and also seeming a bit vain. I know he is proud of his body but leave something to the imagination. And when I jokingly said he he was bieng vain - he got really upset and took it personally. seems like he is very sensitive about it. but like i said - his looks and personality are good enough. what do you think?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

He sounds like a tiresome narcissist show-off. Apparently he doesn't trust his personality and real self to attract anyone, so he prefers to put all his emphasis on his temporary external appearance. Obviously he at least partly recognizes this, as he is so sensitive to the suggestion that he's vain ( as of course he is ). Maybe he'd respond better if one concentrated on convincing him that his personality alone is attractive, whatver he actually looked like.

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Our users say:
Posted by: milijardnu | 2011/02/28

Reply to milijardnu
Posted by: Hans the General | 2011/01/09

good points Gracie and cybershrink!....i would say that yes, this individual does not trust his personality and other qualities to attract attention, so he lends himself to the visual element...i say live and let live, if thats his angle then let him be and if you dont like it, go hang out with someone else....i too have a friend thats recently gotten into part-time modelling and his usually tolerable vanity has now sky-rocketed and he would think that every attractive male or female we encountered was after him...it made my friend over-confident and he seemed like a bit of a slag at times but im glad to say that ive distanced myself from him after some tension between us as a result of me usually getting more attention than him without trying as hard as he does...therez another very important angle to all this: it is well noted that sexually, men are far more visually stimulated than women are and surely pics of his fit body are attracting alot of male attention, probably even more attention than from women so, have you considered that there may be some latent homosexuality within this character?...anyway, bottom line: if you dont like it then toss it coz clearly your friend would, so concentrate on yourself coz clearly, your friend is all about himself!

Reply to Hans the General
Posted by: dash | 2011/01/07

His own body his own life personal site and none of your business, we only have one life to live let him be whoever he wants to be, less jealousy and tolerance the world will be a better place.

Reply to dash
Posted by: @@£ £ £  | 2011/01/06

You say you do not want to judge him and then do just that!
What business of yours is it as to the nature of the photos he posts on his personal sites- as long as they are not porngraphic.
You chose him as a friend and this is part of his personality no wonder he took it personally when you jokingly said he was vain, this is not what friends do.
I am reading more than a touch of jealousy in your postin

Reply to @@&#163 &#163 &#163 
Posted by: Rishaan | 2011/01/06

Well said Grace

Reply to Rishaan
Posted by: Gracie | 2011/01/06

Why can''t ppl just be themselves? Have an ex facebook friend who uses photos of himself when he was much younger and more attractive as his profile pic when in reality he looks like the washed-up alcoholic he really is ..... shame! Unfortuneately there are ppl who rely on their looks to get ahead in life when in fact that there are so many woman who want to meet a good man ... never mind what he looks like ... he must be goodnatured, kind, loving, etc. .... looks fade eventually, but when a man has a good personality and all the other traits mentioned above, his looks mean less than nothing to me (and I am sure lots of other women too) ... some of the nicest guys I have ever had the good fortune of meeting and knowing were not the best looking guys! I guess vanity is found in men and women and when they no longer have their looks to rely on they cannot handle it!! Women who go for looks are more often than not very shallow ppl too ... let him post his pics of his " sexy body"  etc. if it makes him feel good about himself, if he does not have the personality to go with the looks, they will eventually lose interest ...

Reply to Gracie
Posted by: Rishaan | 2011/01/06

Thats a total show off

Reply to Rishaan
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/01/06

He sounds like a tiresome narcissist show-off. Apparently he doesn't trust his personality and real self to attract anyone, so he prefers to put all his emphasis on his temporary external appearance. Obviously he at least partly recognizes this, as he is so sensitive to the suggestion that he's vain ( as of course he is ). Maybe he'd respond better if one concentrated on convincing him that his personality alone is attractive, whatver he actually looked like.

Reply to cybershrink

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