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Question
Posted by: Ben | 2012/04/02

should i stay or should should i go

Hi Doc
I have a lazy spoiled wife. I have always tried to make it easy for her, i bought her a shop and someone runs it for us,so she realy has nothing to do but look after our kids in te morning. She has a maid and all other sevices,she does not even cook.Recently it has gotten out of hand we are almost never intimate she does not want me to touch her, she checks my phone,laptop,car even jocs for evidence of being untruthfull, and if she finds something she does not understand she goes balistic even if i can prove my inocence. a friend said she might be unfaithfull and is doing this as result of this. Is this true, how do i know,what should i look for? i am seeing a divorce attorney this afternoon but will try anything before go that route. please help

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

OK. Presumably it is you who have been spoiling her, though maybe her parents got her into the habit of expecting to be spoiled. Why would she want to be intimate as she gets everything else she wants, and doesn't sound especially interested in a loving relationship with you - even her jealousy and checking may be more to protect her sugar daddy and his sugar, than actually anything about love.
Yes, spouses who are themselves being unfaithful may start being over-vigilant and accusatory about their innocent spouse, but that's not certain. She may be more concerned about protecting her financial investment.
Investigating as such may not be useful ( though I suppose a divorce attorney would know who might be able to help in that way ) - if she would agree to join you in marriage counselling there might be some chance of improving the actual relationship, but if she refuses that, well, you can't heal it all on your own

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/04/02

OK. Presumably it is you who have been spoiling her, though maybe her parents got her into the habit of expecting to be spoiled. Why would she want to be intimate as she gets everything else she wants, and doesn't sound especially interested in a loving relationship with you - even her jealousy and checking may be more to protect her sugar daddy and his sugar, than actually anything about love.
Yes, spouses who are themselves being unfaithful may start being over-vigilant and accusatory about their innocent spouse, but that's not certain. She may be more concerned about protecting her financial investment.
Investigating as such may not be useful ( though I suppose a divorce attorney would know who might be able to help in that way ) - if she would agree to join you in marriage counselling there might be some chance of improving the actual relationship, but if she refuses that, well, you can't heal it all on your own

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