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Question
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-06-20

should I stay or should I go? da na na na na na na ..

met someone at work. was extremely gorgeous but big player. he tried 2make moves on me (aswell as every other woman there) didn' t let things go anywhere out of fear 4bein hurt. so! tried to make him jealous by befriending a new guy that started at co. wasn' t as attractive and I didn' t like him at all other than friendship.
at the time was fighting badly with family at home and needed a roommate desperately to move out.
new guy started really liking me and began trying really hard to win me over. during which time I was insanely into the attractive bloke I tried to make jealous.
home life got too hard to handle. new guy begged to move in together..this became my ticket out.. so I took it. eventually gave in to new guy and started dating. didn' t feel it for him from the start but tried my best and gave up on guy no 1.
2 years later,still with guy no2. still don' t feel butterflies or a lot of attraction for, but have grown to love him.
I feel like I' m wasting my life away. this guy has serious grips on me and have tried to break up a few times but he gets sad and it breaks my heart.i' m scared of regretting leaving him as he is incredibly trust worthy and treats me like gold, everyone loves him as he' s such a great guy and catch.i know he deserter better.with me he' s very childish and insecure and he argues about the most irrelevant nonsense that only a teenager would argue about.when i run into guy no1 my heart flutters and my body gets into shock mode and i have NEVER felt that with guy no 2.I just don' t know how to get the guts to make a stand 4my life and follow my heart and pursue my dreams I can' t pursue with him keeping me back.i love him but I miss my adventure of life I once had. pls help!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Big players, especialy if THEY think they are gorgeous, are usually a bad bet for enjoyable long-term relationships. And game-playing like pretending so as to make someone jealous, is usually a bad idea -- more people tend to get hurt, and even if it seems to work, you know whatever happens is based on pretence.
lets see what other readers have to say, especially after the weekend

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: Ja | 2009-06-23

Bad move to play the one againsta the other. Maybe he was flirting in the bunch cause you were playing hard to get? What if he felt the same but didnt get the propper response from you?
Now thats 2 wasted lives!
I believe wholeheartedly in attraction. Dont haveit? then dont force it!
You screwed up, but i would still get out if i was you. Whether you end up with No1 or not. Believe your feelings/attraction.
Can you imagine what a chore your sex life will become in time? And the poor guy becomes one of the guys complaining they dont get any leg-over. Poor dude. Let him go.

Reply to Ja
Posted by: Latoya | 2009-06-22

The phrase that i like using is, put yourself in someone else' s shoe and let me know if you will be happy, everytime when you do something wrong to others, think of when they do things to you. like they already said, i don' t think the good guy deserve what you doing, but note that what you do to others will be done to you.

Reply to Latoya
Posted by: Angela | 2009-06-22

Played this game in high school ... grow up - you cannot go thru life using one person to make another jealous!! In fact you have used this man in more ways than one and you should be ashamed of yourself - do you honestly think the " gorgeous guy"  gets wobbly knees and butterflies when he sees you? I think not, probably thinks you are a sad little lovestruck girl and does not give you a second thought - rather appreciate the good man that you have. Maybe you should' ve thought about the wonderful adventurous life you had before you moved in with the man!

Reply to Angela
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-06-21

the heart is deceitful, and it seems you have been caught in your own game, you were not honest, neither did you care about people' s feelings, you just attempted (unsuccessfully) to use someone to get someone else......... pretty sad. learn to be more transparent and honest.

Reply to Anonymous

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