Posted by: Pretoria | 2009-08-11

Should i see a psychologist?

My boyfriend and i were dating for 4 years and we were staying together. I found out that he had cheated on me. We broke up and he is now dating the " other woman"  I' ve recentkly discovered that she is pregnant. He always wanted us to have a baby, but i was determined to be married first, so he took it upon himself to find someone who can give him what he wants. on his terms. He has become very rude and demeaning towards me and it seems like he has become a totally different person. He says that he is acting like that because i " chased him away like a dog"  But he was did he expect me to react!? In a way, i am glad that all this happened now rather than one day when we are married, but it doesn' t make it any easier. I still cry everyday, and i still think about him all the time. What can i do to make this better and easier for me? Because i am in no emotional state to start dating again and it just seems unfair to me that he is enjoying his life and im the one with the heartache. I also feel that i dont know how i will be able to trust another man again, how will i get over that? I dont want to enter into another relationship having trust issues. Should i see a psychologist to deal with these trust issues?
Thank you

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Our expert says:
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So, he is a cheater and highly irresponsible towards other people, not caring much for you or the other woman or the baby. He has no right to "have a baby" without considering you, the woman who is unfortunate enough to get pregnant by him, and the child's rights and interests. He sounds totally selfish.
Don't cry or allow yourself to feel sad as though you had lost a good man and a faithful lover --- that is not what he was ; you never had the faithfulness and love you imagined, so you have not lost it right now.
It would be wise for you to see a CBT style psychologist to work on trust and other issues, and to recognize your own high value and this guy's low value.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Gracie | 2009-08-11

Be glad that you are rid of him! The other woman now has to deal with his issues! He is not good enough for you! If he could go out and get another woman pregnant, he obviously cannot be trusted - your not wanting a child out of wedlock is a feeble excuse for him to cheat! It was his intention to cheat on you and now he has the responsibility of a child! There is no reason for you to start dating again - the pain will go away - just be patient. The right guy will come along and you will then be so glad that you are rid of this cheating rat! Good luck to you!

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