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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2010/05/03

Should I let her see him

My daughter has not seen her father since December. In January we had an argument because he told me that he never wanted her. We have a court date set for maintenance court on the 07/06/2010. However I feel that I cannot force him to contact his child. Now she is starting to ask for him. On Saturday she actually demanded for me to call him, I lied and told her I didnt have the number. SHe kept telling me mum please call my daddy I miss him so much. I really dont know what to do because I dont want to set a precedent or even think that I am forcing him to want this child. What do I do.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Ys you cannot force him to contact his child, nor should you want to, even if it were possible. But inform him that she is asking for him, and allow reasonable access, pending a decision by the maintenance court which should decide on the basis of what is best for the child - but will also be aware of the uselessness of giving access to a deadbeat dad who doesn't want to see his child. If you simply tell him what the child has been saing and ask if he wants to see her, it won't look as though you are trying to force him to do anything

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: XXX | 2010/05/03

It is very sad whan a parent wants little or no contact with their child.I firmly believe that a parent should stay in contact almost on a daily basis.I certainly do with my 9 year old.
Don''t force the father to see your child but try and encourage him in a more diplomat way.
PLease don''t let the child suffer more than he/she has to.It is after all not their fault that the parents are apart.
Good luck

Reply to XXX
Posted by: bob | 2010/05/03

Hi Anon
You should let her see him if that is what they both want, maybe he thinks by saying he didn''t want her he will get out of paying maintenance (which is not going to happen). Even if you are on bad terms you must tell him that she wants to see him because she misses him and wants the contact, if he refuses to have anything to do with her then, he should be man enough to tell her himself and his reasons why. There is nothing you can do other than be the best Mom you can be to your daughter. I can''t understand how a father can''t have contact with his child regardless of the relationship with the childs Mom, I think he is being childish and trying to get back at you, and in the long run he will be the loser, children are not stupid they know and pick up who is doing what.
Take care

Reply to bob
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/05/03

Ys you cannot force him to contact his child, nor should you want to, even if it were possible. But inform him that she is asking for him, and allow reasonable access, pending a decision by the maintenance court which should decide on the basis of what is best for the child - but will also be aware of the uselessness of giving access to a deadbeat dad who doesn't want to see his child. If you simply tell him what the child has been saing and ask if he wants to see her, it won't look as though you are trying to force him to do anything

Reply to cybershrink

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