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Question
Posted by: Anonymous | 2008/10/13

Should I let go?

My 17 year old said we don' t want to let go as her friends are allowed to stay out till 02h00 in the mornings and she must be in at 22h00 and she cann' t wait till she turns 18years in March sothat she could move in with one of her friends. Do you think we are to strict? Should I take her to see a psychologist as I don' t want her to rush into something she would regret later in life?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

She's very lucky that her parents are as loving and cautious as you are. For 1 17 year-old, it is not necessary to stay out until 2 am. But discuss this with her, clarifying your concerns and love, and negotiate a better time --- 10 pm is a bit early for 17 year-olds, 2 am too late. Maybe midnight, especially if it's no more than once a week ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Candy | 2008/10/14

I agree with anon. Do what you think is right for your child.
She is lucky you let her fo out at all. I' m 28 yrs and even now when I go home and I happen to go out if I' m not back by 8pm my mother goes crazy.
You are responsible for your childs live and if you choose this for her then so it should be. She' s lucky to have you as a parent. So many other parent don' t care.
I wish you luck and all the best. Remember you the parent here.

Reply to Candy
Posted by: Anon | 2008/10/14

Why go to a psych.? this is not a psychological problem, it' s a matter of respect. you are the parents and God put us on earth to look after our children as they do not always know the best. if you feel 22h00 is good enough, who is she to question you... you are the parents. she is lucky enough to be able to go out, she could have been sitting in her room with no benefits. if you give in to her, she is manipulating you. if other kids can stay out till midnigh, power to them!!!, their parent are resposible for them and what happens to them, not you, you are responsible for your child and you will be the one to answer if something goes wrong. if they do drugs and who knows what else, are you going to say, ag shame they are doing it, so you can too. I will rather set boundaries and be proud of my children than let them do as they please and have to hear via the grapevine what a brat my child is. I don' t think that you are being to strick.... yes, I also have teenage children.....

Reply to Anon
Posted by: LS | 2008/10/13

Why do you want to see a psychologist? There is nothing wrong with setting boundries for your child, especially in these hectic times we live in.

I do think 22h00 is a bit early though. Maybe midnight?

There is such a fine line between protecting your child and over protecting her, its so easily crossed.

She is at the age where you will constantly be the enemy is she doesn' t get her will, be strong and be glad that your child is one of the lucky ones to have parents who set boundries in order to protect her. Try and explain this to her, she might not understand it now, but definitley will one day! Trust me!

Reply to LS

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