advertisement
Question
Posted by: Just Me | 2010/10/16

Should I Just walk away

Hi CS, I am 20 weeks preggies and very alone. I met this guy last year nov and we started dating. he was a very nice guy from a good family background. Financially and career wise im much more successful and he is not. but we didnt anticipate that as problem. however as we progressed i found that im the one doing so much for us, going out, buying stuff and he does little for me. since i feel preggies he is also very distant, avoids spending time with me, and i feel im being pushed away, no support even a bit of help with medical bills nothing, not even one visit to the doctor with me. well he informed his parents of my pregnancy and seemingly discussed with them that he is marrying me. then his parents met with my family and indicated that their son will take responsibility and even marry. Now it was a shocker to me when my parent told me, as this was not even discussed between the two of us. when i asked him about this, he said his parents misundertood him and he will clarify the situation. he said he thinks the relationship for now is not ready for marraige, which i agreed with and that we focus of the upcoming baby. this happened in Aug but till today he hasnt discussed with his parents who are pestering my parents about setting up dates for discussions about marraige. Everytime i confront him about these issues, he acknowledges his mistakes and is working on them. But i feel tired of waiting for change and want to give up on this. im ready to go it alone, but maybe im just impatient (maybe pregancy hormones at it?).

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hello JM,
Um. It doesn't really sound as though this guy sincerely and thoughtfully tried to enter into a genuine relationship with you, to pull his weight financially or emotionally, does it ? Getting pregnant by him was not one of your best ideas, either, was it ?
Maybe you're more successful financially, but any self-respecting human in his position would feel the need to try to contribute as much as he can, especially to the extra expenses he has ghelped to create, with the pregnancy, for instance.
Maybe he was wanting to clear with his parents the POSSIBILITY of getting married, rather than necessarily announcing a formal engagement, but surely he should have discussed that with you in detail. ahead of time ?
Doesn't he uinderstand that whether the next months will include a completed marriage or a close relationship heading in that direction, it is not something he should be working on alone, but needs to be done in collaboration with you ?
The hormones and other aspects of pregnancy might indeed not help you to be at your best in such negotiations - but do emphasize to him that these are things to be discussed and worked on together, and not by him alone, especially as he seems to keep repeating essentially the same errors.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

1
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/10/17

Hello JM,
Um. It doesn't really sound as though this guy sincerely and thoughtfully tried to enter into a genuine relationship with you, to pull his weight financially or emotionally, does it ? Getting pregnant by him was not one of your best ideas, either, was it ?
Maybe you're more successful financially, but any self-respecting human in his position would feel the need to try to contribute as much as he can, especially to the extra expenses he has ghelped to create, with the pregnancy, for instance.
Maybe he was wanting to clear with his parents the POSSIBILITY of getting married, rather than necessarily announcing a formal engagement, but surely he should have discussed that with you in detail. ahead of time ?
Doesn't he uinderstand that whether the next months will include a completed marriage or a close relationship heading in that direction, it is not something he should be working on alone, but needs to be done in collaboration with you ?
The hormones and other aspects of pregnancy might indeed not help you to be at your best in such negotiations - but do emphasize to him that these are things to be discussed and worked on together, and not by him alone, especially as he seems to keep repeating essentially the same errors.

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement