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Question
Posted by: pointless | 2010/02/16

should i just kill myself and release everyone around me?

Hi, what is the point of living and breathing and carrying on if you' re doing it SOLELY because there are 3 (possibly 4) people who will be devestated if you should die? And they only care b/c they' re family.
I truly believe I' m not a very nice person, very pathetic and useless and I am REALLY struggling to find meaning in my life. I keep on relapsing into my eating disorder because I cannot seem to live without it. Yet I clearly cannot live with it. Dont'  tell me te get CBT, I' ve had VERY good treatment (inpatient) as recently as last December. Maybe I' m just one of those people who are not destined to ever recover or be a happy and productive member of society.
I' m only alive still because I am afraid it would destroy those 3 (possibly 4) people.
BUT the question is, wouldn' t it ultimately be better for them to know that I' m in a better, safer place where I cannot hurt anyone any longer?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

No, you absolutely should NOT kill yourself. and it wouldn't release anybody from anything.
If you have currently lost sight of the enjoyment and purpose of your life, that's unfortunate, and you need to get urgently into proper treatment with a shrink to sort out your depression and your extremely negative habits of thought about life. Failing to do this is no excuse for devastating a number of people who would be damaged by your death.
You need an aggressive CBT style therapist to find more meaning in life - you may be clinging to your eating disorder, not because i in itself is at all meaningful, but it gives you the illusion of meaning and a spurious but convincing sense of control - instead of enjoying the moderat degree of conrol we can all have over our lives, it gives you the sense of controlling something essentially irrelevant.
I'm pleased that you consider whatver treatment you received as "VERY good", though its far from clear whether you had proper CBT, or whether your central issues, as you reveal them, of a sense of meaninglessness in life, were properly dealt with, medication alone is not the best form of treatment.
Have you discussed this sense of pointlessness and despair with whoever treated you ( and who, clearly, should still be treating you ) ?
One of the advantages to a medical training, which most doctors don't notice, is that the more one learns about the enormous complexity of how our body and mind works, it is miraculous that most of us work pretty well much of the time, and hardly surprising that sometimes part of the system doesn't work qyite right.
I have different friends tight now coping with the aftermath of a murder, and of a suicide ( which used to be considered self-murder ) and nobody as thoughtful as you could choose to inflict that on even one other person.
The treatment you recently received may have been good, but it very obviously isn't complete. If you have honestly and frankly told your shrink how you feel, he/she would be far more actively involved in treatment with you right now. IF you did NOT tell him/her in detail, they you were cheating against yourself, and unfair to everyone, yourself included.


The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: Miss Blue | 2010/02/16

you shouldn' t think of killing urself. I know how you feel. Please don' t do anything. wether they' re family or not, the fact is there are people there that care about you. What makes you think they will know you' re in a better place? a friend committed suicide last yr. It is so hard.

Reply to Miss Blue
Posted by: Jordan | 2010/02/16

Hey, I know how you feel. I' m an alcoholic and feel the exact same way as you. When you say you have an eating disorder, what is it that you have? Please explain to me. Don' t understand why we are all born so faulty. Everyone seems to have something wrong with them.

Reply to Jordan
Posted by: pointless | 2010/02/16

ps i can really relate to the quotation posted on here today.

Reply to pointless
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/02/16

No, you absolutely should NOT kill yourself. and it wouldn't release anybody from anything.
If you have currently lost sight of the enjoyment and purpose of your life, that's unfortunate, and you need to get urgently into proper treatment with a shrink to sort out your depression and your extremely negative habits of thought about life. Failing to do this is no excuse for devastating a number of people who would be damaged by your death.
You need an aggressive CBT style therapist to find more meaning in life - you may be clinging to your eating disorder, not because i in itself is at all meaningful, but it gives you the illusion of meaning and a spurious but convincing sense of control - instead of enjoying the moderat degree of conrol we can all have over our lives, it gives you the sense of controlling something essentially irrelevant.
I'm pleased that you consider whatver treatment you received as "VERY good", though its far from clear whether you had proper CBT, or whether your central issues, as you reveal them, of a sense of meaninglessness in life, were properly dealt with, medication alone is not the best form of treatment.
Have you discussed this sense of pointlessness and despair with whoever treated you ( and who, clearly, should still be treating you ) ?
One of the advantages to a medical training, which most doctors don't notice, is that the more one learns about the enormous complexity of how our body and mind works, it is miraculous that most of us work pretty well much of the time, and hardly surprising that sometimes part of the system doesn't work qyite right.
I have different friends tight now coping with the aftermath of a murder, and of a suicide ( which used to be considered self-murder ) and nobody as thoughtful as you could choose to inflict that on even one other person.
The treatment you recently received may have been good, but it very obviously isn't complete. If you have honestly and frankly told your shrink how you feel, he/she would be far more actively involved in treatment with you right now. IF you did NOT tell him/her in detail, they you were cheating against yourself, and unfair to everyone, yourself included.


Reply to cybershrink

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