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Question
Posted by: nozie | 2011/07/17

should I be myself?

hi shrink im a24 year old lady.i sometyms not always tend to rthink that ppl dont like me.i sumtyz think that it has to do with my conservative personality.i say this as i notice that wheb with a friend of mine who is more bubbly and outspokeb,ppl respond to her in a very swet way than to me.i dont know how to change mypersonality.what shud i do .

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its interesting how people who are actually horrible, and disliked by everyone else, rarely ever notice this or think this ! But most of us who are a bit shy, worry at times that people might not like us. What you're describing isn't that anyone DISLIKES you, but that they don't actively show liking for you. If you are conservative and shy and don't say much, you don't reveal much of yourself, so they wouldn't know how likeable you really are. Counselling can help reduce shyness and anxiety in social setting like this, so you could relax more, and enjoy yourself more, and others will discover how nice you are.
And you don't have to become that bubbly friend, either - often, if you become a good listener, and show a real interest in other people, they find you attractive and pleasant to be around

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2011/07/18

Nozie, I too am shy and a bit of an introvert. In contrast with that, my best friend is very outspoken, very outgoing, loud you name it. I''ve actually embraced this, because I don''t like to be in the spotlight, it suits me fine that she''s in the spotlight. Me and her have a very deep relationship, because we fill each other in. We are like ying and yang. So you shouldn''t change for anybody. I used to be like that in the beginning. But now I just feel like, if you won''t even take the time to get to know me and you don''t like my personality, then you can go fly a kite. I am who I am, is how the Good Lord made me. But if you feel you have anxiety or something like that, like CS says, maybe you could get some counceling.

Good luck though!!!

Reply to Anon
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/07/17

Its interesting how people who are actually horrible, and disliked by everyone else, rarely ever notice this or think this ! But most of us who are a bit shy, worry at times that people might not like us. What you're describing isn't that anyone DISLIKES you, but that they don't actively show liking for you. If you are conservative and shy and don't say much, you don't reveal much of yourself, so they wouldn't know how likeable you really are. Counselling can help reduce shyness and anxiety in social setting like this, so you could relax more, and enjoy yourself more, and others will discover how nice you are.
And you don't have to become that bubbly friend, either - often, if you become a good listener, and show a real interest in other people, they find you attractive and pleasant to be around

Reply to cybershrink

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