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Question
Posted by: wondering | 2008/08/29

Should I ask him why?

I' m casually seeing someone so at this stage we are neither serious but taking each day as it comes. I was with my boyfriend. I' ll call him that for now just for the sake of my question. I was with my boyfriend the other night and he openly expressed all his thoughts and emotions. I was glad that he could talk to me and express himself like this. Well anyway most of his emotions was about his ex girlfriend, how he drifted from her becuase he became obessed with saving money to never be in dept. He also said how his parents always looked down on his gf at the time they were going out. He told me how his gf was almost raped at a time by someone else. All of this came out because a friend of his called to say he saw his ex gf with someone new holding hands. This made him feel angry and he commented that she' s winning the break up. The way he spoke about her sounded like she was madly in love with him. I' m totally confused. All of this makes me feel he is having regrets and he wants her back. They never broke up from problems between then but from the pressure his parents caused and the dislike for her. He openly said to me that he likes me but he' s not in love me while he was sharing all this with me. Grrr in a way it kind of puts you down a little. Just a little bit lol. Should I ask him what he wants because to me it clearly looks like he wants her back. I definitely don' t want to be second best and kept hanging by a string just cos of this. I really like him but I' m willing to let him go and sort his feelings out.

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Our expert says:
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What sort of friend phones a guy to tell him that his EX gf has been holding hads with someone else ? If she's Ex it doesn't matter what she does or with who, and its just not friendly to meddle and sttir things up like that. If he commented that she's "winning" the break-up, that shows how twisted he has become. If you're broken up, you're broken up --- you both lose. And if you move on with your life, that;s the best response to that initial loss. If he sees this as a competition with winners and losers, that's a recipe for misery. Sounds very much as if he's assuming she'll come back ( otherwise why would it matter if she held hands with a kangaroo ? ) so be cautious in your own expectations

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Our users say:
Posted by: wondering | 2008/08/29

Gee thanks for such a quick reply. Much appreciated!!

Reply to wondering

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