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Question
Posted by: Love | 2010-07-19

Should I ask him?

My BF proposed marriage within two months of our courtship. He introduced me to everyone including his family. His divorce has just been finalised and since then he is no longer talking about marriage. He was away on a work related trip and yesterday he said when he was gone he realised that we cannnot get married early next year like he promised because he is in debts. Since then I have become so off that I dont even want to talk to him.

Earlier today when we were on skype, I told him that I want to get a place of my own and start a new life, he just said he will support me all the way.

I feel like he used me to get through his divorce and now that it is done he just want to hang around me until he meets someone new.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds a bit too soon in a relaionship to plan marriage, as you haven't had time to really get to know each other -and one must always be cautious about relationships formed on the rebound, when the other person is just finishing a divorce or separation and isn't yet psychologically free of that relationship. Similarly, its not wise to marry into debt, rather than gaining finanial stability first. I wonder whether his earlier proposal was more abou his reactions to his upcoming divorce than a realistic plan in itself ? Maybe he wasn't aware of using you at the time, but has become sensibly more cautious now ? If you want him as a frien, see how this works out for you for a while, before making majo decisions about the future

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-07-19

Sounds a bit too soon in a relaionship to plan marriage, as you haven't had time to really get to know each other -and one must always be cautious about relationships formed on the rebound, when the other person is just finishing a divorce or separation and isn't yet psychologically free of that relationship. Similarly, its not wise to marry into debt, rather than gaining finanial stability first. I wonder whether his earlier proposal was more abou his reactions to his upcoming divorce than a realistic plan in itself ? Maybe he wasn't aware of using you at the time, but has become sensibly more cautious now ? If you want him as a frien, see how this works out for you for a while, before making majo decisions about the future

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