Posted by: Addy | 2008-11-21

Should I!!

My fiance has had a problem with many relationships even his marriage, drinking, drugging and whoring.
We have lived together for 7 yrs and I have had to help him when ever his out of control, getting him to detox, I am now gat full, when he works away from home his out of control, does what he wants then comes home and his sorry, after 18 he started his nonsense again.
My herat is ice cold towards him, I refused to help him this time and told him I finally realised his weak scum and want out.
Yesterday he sent me mail at work apologising, wants to go for counseling etc, I don' t give a damn anymore.
Knowing his on his own now his scared, send me pictures of us in happy times and writes to have faith we can be happy again.
I sent him mail 1, we get married,2 we both go for counseling, 3 no more secret sms' s and e-mail I get to see all, 4 he stops drinking, 5, he stops hiding his personal stuff from me like post, banking accounts although he sees mine.
His reply, lets do the counseling first and the other stuff he will stop.I have had this for 7 yrs, if he can' t commit to me now, but I am good enough to help when he needs detox then he can go fly a kite, he met a whore last year and got engaged to her although he was still engaged to him. Told him to find a hwore and marry her as that is his favorite type of person and I am moving on.
His begging now, trying to be nice what do I do here?.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

He sounds far, far, too immature and childish to marry anyone. And if he still expects you to solve his problems, its worse than having a very large and particularly silly child. Don't even think ofmarriage at this time. Either dump him, as he richly deserves, or at the most, start the counselling and see if he bothers to work at it sincerely and actually produces some change of the right sort. Surely, though, you deserve very much better than him ?
It's so easy for him to say he's sorry, but he has apparently never actually ACTED sorry. Words can nwver be enough. I can't believe, as al seems to, that he might be"reborn" --- he hasn't finished being born the first time round.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Wendy | 2008-11-25

Run ! People don' t change. My ex boyfriend was also " reborn"  3 months down the line, he was back to drinking drugging and beating me up! Don' t put yourself through anymore heartache. The right person for you is out there!

Reply to Wendy
Posted by: aaaaa | 2008-11-21

Sweetie, he is a loser, Don`t even bother. Get on with your own life.

Reply to aaaaa
Posted by: al | 2008-11-21

Dont marry him just yet, but go through with the counseling. Maybe he is reborn. If he returns to what he was, quit him forever

Reply to al
Posted by: Addy | 2008-11-21

Yep! he said his hurt me all these years and knows it and sorry, now gone to the church to see what times they have counseling.I was never able to go into counselin with him before because he was scared I was going to bring all up.
All these years I have never defaulted although there have been lots of men intrested in me but to my sorrow I turned them down.My heart is lighter now that I know I can be boss of my life again.
His never sorry for long although he says this time he means it, reason I said marriage, to test him, he just wants to use me as a mother and nurse maid. Thanks guys.

Reply to Addy
Posted by: Ag nee | 2008-11-21

No!! Don' t!! After 7 years, get packing and run for it!!
Why on earth do you want to stay with this poeph*l!?!

Reply to Ag nee
Posted by: Why?? | 2008-11-21

Why on earth do you want to marry this man????????? You are setting yourself up for a life of heartache!

Reply to Why??
Posted by: Anon 2 | 2008-11-21

Dump him, defnitelly!

Reply to Anon 2
Posted by: Anon | 2008-11-21

RUN !!

Reply to Anon

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