Posted by: Didi | 2013-02-21


My hubby was busy cooking with micro-wave afer using it he closed it, when was cleaning it cause he did make a mess and I ask him nicely that why did he close it cause while it was having the smell of meat. He said did you want me to clean it? I said no as you can see am cleaning it I was just saying why did you close it? He said to me “ f you don''t want me to clean it then what do you want to say, u can leave it like that the helper will clean it tomorrow” . I then said you always eat late while the helper is asleep &  don''t leave dirty dishes in the sink then he started shouting, swearing &  yelling telling me that “  oh you are saying I must not eat in my house”  I said no said to him you just want to start a fight I said I always wash de dishes every night when you eat late he said “  now ur twisting it, you want a fight bring it on who do u think u are u think u are better or you want to ridicule me show me that I am not tidy &  you are, you are not going to give me rules ” . I was so shocked, scared of his reaction &  hurt was I wrong in just telling him to open it after use cause of the smell was is it necessary for him to react like that, What was wrong with him if he felt was wrong why not tell me nicely

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Has he no alternative but to eat late ( such as working late and only coming home late ? ) or does he sit around at home until late before he chooses to eat ? Has he an option to eat more conveniently earlier ?
An argument like this which seems excessive as a reaction to what just happened, usually represents an overflow of irritation and anger that has been building up for a time, about a number of things.
Tell him you're sorry if you upset him, as that's not what you were intending to do, and ask if you two can chat about this and work out the best way to prevent future arguments about such things.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Lulu | 2013-02-22

He is rude and arrogant. It was a simple question. My husband would never have reacted in that way, irrespective of how late he came from work. He is considerate. That is just plain rude and I too would have been shocked if I got a response like that.

And I feel sorry for the poor woman who thinks you don''t respect your man and are controlling and should shut up. Shame, shows she knows very little about relationships and respect.

Reply to Lulu
Posted by: Kelly | 2013-02-22

Ummm I dont think it was about the cleaning, it was about the closing of the microwave door which she could have just addressed after the fact. She chose out of her free will to clean the microwave.

Reply to Kelly
Posted by: Kelly | 2013-02-22

Ummm I dont think it was about the cleaning, it was about the closing of the microwave door which she could have just addressed after the fact. She chose out of her free will to clean the microwave.

Reply to Kelly
Posted by: Pixie | 2013-02-22

Why you giving this poor woman a hard time? It seems like her husband is the one over-reacting. if you make a mess - clean it up, don''t expect others to " wipe your bum"  for you... He is a grown man, if he spills he must wipe it up - its just what should be done. Why does a man not have to clean up after himself? This is just old fashioned thinking that the woman must pick up after her man....
Perhaps he did get irratated with your tone when you asked him.

Reply to Pixie
Posted by: Kelly | 2013-02-22

Shame man, that was a horrible response but I think you just chose the wrong time to ask him that question lol
Really the poor guy was prob. hungry and wanted to eat.
I know its frustrating when people do that because the smell of whatever you just warmed kinda sinks into the microwave, you have to leave it ope to air abit but I mean its not the end of this world.
You should just left it for later the night and then spoken to him about it, I''m sure his reaction would have been different then...
I guess you can still speak to him about it and let him know why it irritated you in the first place and you were not criticising him.

Reply to Kelly
Posted by: Didi | 2013-02-22

Guys i am not saying i wanted him to clean it and as a matter of fact i do not mind doing it. I was not making a fuss of it just asking him why he close it politely and he was suppose to just answer me without making a fuss.

I know that we cannot be same if I feel I want a comfy home not bootcamp and my husband does not feel the same way as I do is fine, I will make it a comfy by cleaning up the mess including his and I was not aware that a mere question will make a person so agitated unless you have stress you are dealing with issues.

Reply to Didi
Posted by: Anon | 2013-02-22

Dodo..there''s a difference between treating your kitchen like a canteen and just wanting to eat your freshly heated plate of food before getting prodded over a dirty this or that or for closing a door..

Don''t get me wrong, my husband seems to make an abnormally large mess whenever he''s in the kitchen, working with food or even making coffee and I''m NOT always going to be to one to clean up after him.. But we both work hard and I know we are both tired and want to relax when we get home at night, so I leave it. Grab your plate, sit on your behind and unwind and then afterwards clean up the mess you made.. I don''t think that wrong at all, a home should be comfy not bootcamp.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: dodo | 2013-02-22

apologies for typo

Reply to dodo
Posted by: Dodo | 2013-02-22

I dont agree with you guys,
it doesnt matter if you pay someone to clean or not. they have a home not a canteen where everyone just eat and leaves stuff everywhere.

husbands and wives must work together. simple things like cleaning after yourself helps have a healthier relationship in the house.

my husband liked to eat very late and leave his dished on the table so i used t humbly tell him thast if there is only one plate and a spoon left wont he be kind to rinse it. and since then he does that and enjoys it and teaches our children that we dont have slaves in the house but we work together. to a point whre somnetimes he calls me to do the dished with me after eating. even everymorning he makes up the bed with me. its all the dimple lives that dont need argument.

DIdi i dont see anything wrong in what you are doing., you are a woman and you are thinking like one.

Reply to Dodo
Posted by: Anon | 2013-02-22

Most people close the doors when the are done using appliances or taking something from cuboards, for me atleast, it''s the ''built-in'' next step. I don''t really think about it, I just do it. You close the fridge or freezer door after using it..for obvious reasons..
Close the oven door after using it..because people have a tendency to bump into it + there''s a risk of smaller hands getting burnt...
When you throw something in the trash close the lid to avoid bugs and pets swarming it...
When you make close the lids of the containers to avoid things from getting in and to avoid spoiling...
When you take a cup, plate etc. from a close it to avoid people bumping into sharp edges or breaking a door off..

You want to know why your husband closed the door of the microwave? He was hungry and had a plate of food infront him so wasn''t paying much attention to what you were doing while he performed an automatic action.. Ask a silly and unneeded question to someone who is hungry and tired = getting a bad response.. Why not just open the door again if you want to clean it out there and then?

I don''t really understand the problem, I only sometimes do the dishes after dinner if I feel it will attract too many insects..otherwise leave it until morning. I have also never had a smell ''stick'' in the microwave so unless you were planning on using it the very next morning before the cleaner got around to cleaning up..what''s the big deal? What''s the point of paying someone to clean up if you must do it yourself or can''t even eat in peace before having to clean up?

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Queen | 2013-02-22

Totally agree with Rudy! If you don''t see anything wrong with this picture then I feel sorry for the poor guy who must put up with this everyday. You are mean and controlling. You need to learn to shut up and think. Respect your man. Because if you don''t you''ll soon be single and wondering what happened!

Reply to Queen
Posted by: Just Me | 2013-02-22

I agree with Rudy. For heavens sake, give the Guy a break. It''s obvious that things have been building up...the reason why he snapped with the latest outburst. Be thankful he was heating his food himself. If you''re so fussy rather do it for him.

Reply to Just Me
Posted by: Rudy | 2013-02-21

I think you are full of s**t, this is a grown man &  he does not need someone to mother him. Why make an issue about whether he cleans behind himself or not but he is paying someone to do the cleaning. You should be concentrating on coming up ways to make your marriage a better place to be.

Reply to Rudy

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.