Posted by: MelV | 2009-08-28

shock and trauma?

sorry its going to be long...

A couple of months ago my husband and I were involved in a car accident. At the end it wasnt too bad - no one was seriously injured and my car could be fixed BUT just before the accident happened and my husband said ' we are going to hit them'  I seriously thought this was either the end or my legs were going to be crushed.

I could hardly breathe, I was totally freaked out...

A few months after that we went on leave and my husbands male friends rocked up unexpectedly (for me it was unexpected should we say) so that they could go out to sea on a boat to go fishing. I was worried, kept thinking and dreaming negative things like I am going to lose my husband, there will be an accident again and so on...

and yes, there really was an accident - the boat flipped and they were miraculously and thankfully washed out to shore. Unfortunately the eldest of them had drowned and died...

I was in total shock and now even three months later I feel as if my heart is going to break when I think of it. I could have lost my husband and that because he wanted to go out fishing and leave me alone. I have also been feeling that I am not letting myself love him as much as I used to - building a wall so to speak and I am still angry, almost blame him...

Do you think all this will heal with time? I have become moody and almost depressed to the state that I am sick physically as well...

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Our expert says:
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I know, too, from personal experience--- a very frightening experience. And this psychological trauma was fairly closely followed by another. This sort of post-traumatic reaction isn't uncommon, and as it has lasted more than 2 months, becomes more significant and more deserving of treatment by a skilled psychologist, before these understandable but natural concerns become more fixed. And not only the lasting anger, but the sense of limiting the degree of love you are prepared to let yourself feel for him, are well recognizd ( you limit your emotional inbestments now, for fear of becoming more exposed to loss ). When you then describe moodiness and depression, this is clarly desering of a full assessment by a good local shrink, and treatment, which may be more effective and brief for starting early

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