advertisement
Question
Posted by: Apple | 2010/04/15

She pitched up un-announced

My ex-girlfriend(26) who happens to be the mother of my child (6yrs) broke up with me 4 months ago.This was entirely her decision and even went as far as telling me to move on and find someone else,wished me all the best (bulsh*t). Sometime last week, she showed up at my place at 10 oclock at night claiming that she was in the neighbourhood and decided to come and collect her post. I asked her why she didn''t call and she said her phone ran out of battery(bullsh*t agn)
I gave her the post and she left.The following morning I emailed and told her that I didn''t appreciate her coming to my place unanounced,esp at night. The thing is I know for a fact that she was checking up on me coz maybe she though she was going to find me with a woman....and if she did so what!!!! I must admit that I''m glad she didn''t find me with anyone...why? ....as painfull as it is to admit, I still love her so much.
What are you thoughts..please?

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Turning up unannounced late at night with such a fee ble excuse is indeed odd. After 4 months and telling you to move on, its none of her business if you were spending the night with another woman, an alien or a warthog. Maybe you still love her, and if this was a twinge of jealousy on her side, it may suggest she may be regretting her decision to walk out, but only unambiguous and frank discussion between you could repair the damage she did, if you both wanted that at all.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: Apple | 2010/04/15

Nick - You are spot on when you say she is angr y over something.A lot has happenned during the course of our r/ship and I do take ownership of some of the mistakes that brought our r/ship to its demise.My family also played a role in this by meddling in my affairs against my will.At some point, they didn''t treat her well of which I made my objections clear to them in this regard. The truth is, there is nothing I wouldn''t do to get my woman back but I believe I have exhausted all my means and in our last conversation, I told her I was letting her go because its clear thats what she trully wants.The painfull thing is I was planning to marry this woman next yr (I was going to pay lobola this year...I''m Zulu :-) She knows about all this and it hurts me so much that she is throwing it all away. Another confusion is, she has told her good friend that she''s not leaving me, she''s just giving me a break (which is bull agn). To me, she says she is sure that we are done for good. Another thing that one must guard against is that you don''t become a fool just because you love a person and ensure that whatever happens, your dignity and pride still remain intact.
So what do I want to do..?....I dont know but I still love her with all my heart.I''m so lonely and empty bt agn I understand that you can''t force a person to stay in r/ship when they are not happy coz this leads to all sorts of things e.g cheating. And if this hapens,I''ll have to kill someone.

Marymary- You are right and ja..its very hard

Reply to Apple
Posted by: Marymary | 2010/04/15

You did the right thing to tell her not to come to your place at night esp by ten if i were you i was not even gonna open the door for her. If she has moved on with her life why does she have to spy on you, well brother i''m in a same boat as you my ex pitch whenever he pleases worse part he even ask for favours from me and that is not supposed to be, don''t let her ruin your life it''s either she is in or out make arrangements when to see the baby and she much change her postal address asap because she is no longer there why use your address.

I know it''s hard but she don''t let her inflict more pain to you.

Reply to Marymary
Posted by: Nick | 2010/04/15

Did she tell you why she''s breaking up with you? To me it sounds like she''s angry with you over something and i don''t think she''s over you.

Maybe she acted out of anger and now shes regretting her decisions. I''m sure she still loves you and misses you, it''s such women have their own pride or maybe she''s scared you might not want her back.

You seem to have or had a good thing going. So what do you want to do Mr.?

Reply to Nick
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/04/15

Turning up unannounced late at night with such a fee ble excuse is indeed odd. After 4 months and telling you to move on, its none of her business if you were spending the night with another woman, an alien or a warthog. Maybe you still love her, and if this was a twinge of jealousy on her side, it may suggest she may be regretting her decision to walk out, but only unambiguous and frank discussion between you could repair the damage she did, if you both wanted that at all.

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement