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Question
Posted by: Candy | 2010-09-20

Sharing a bed

Is it unhealthy for a father to share a bed with his 4.5 year old daughter (this is purely due to a lack of space.) Could this affect the child or would she be young enough not to be affected?.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

So long as they only sleep, there's no damage to her health. Leaving aside abuse, loving fathers are good for kids health, and a child is unlikely to be bothered about such sleeping arrangements unless something very unusual happens, or unless someone else tells her it's wrong and that she should be troubled by it. There are absolutely no developmental problems arising.
In general, the concern about kids sharing their parents bed arises more where it is at the child's request because they are scared to sleep in their own bed.
Love is good for you

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Our users say:
Posted by: Liza | 2010-09-21

Some of my best childhood memories involve cuddling up next to my dad and falling asleep while he holds me. That feeling of love can''t be replaced and only had a positive effect on me...

Reply to Liza
Posted by: Apple | 2010-09-20

C''mon now...yes its so absolutely normal. My daughter is 6 years old and she always sleeps with me when she is visiting, not because of space but coz thats what I love. I also kiss her all the time...yes I''m her daddy and am just showing her love and I can see the positive impact that its having on her!!!!!

Reply to Apple
Posted by: Candy | 2010-09-20

There is definitely nothing sinister going on. I would just like to know from a " developmental"  point of view, whether this can affect behaviour in the long and short term.

Reply to Candy
Posted by: Bophelo | 2010-09-20

there are real Fathers out there - and this sounds like one! my parents got divorced when i was 8 and i would go and visit my father and sleep on the same bed with him - he was my father and he acted like it!

as much as we live in this cruel world - some people still have values, morals and priciples!....give the guy a benefit of a doubt! unless if there''s something you KNOW about this guy!

Reply to Bophelo
Posted by: candy | 2010-09-20

The father has a one-bedroomed flat so when the child stays over , she sleeps with him in the double bed.

Reply to candy
Posted by: candid camera | 2010-09-20

not sure what you mean.... explain more

Reply to candid camera
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-09-20

So long as they only sleep, there's no damage to her health. Leaving aside abuse, loving fathers are good for kids health, and a child is unlikely to be bothered about such sleeping arrangements unless something very unusual happens, or unless someone else tells her it's wrong and that she should be troubled by it. There are absolutely no developmental problems arising.
In general, the concern about kids sharing their parents bed arises more where it is at the child's request because they are scared to sleep in their own bed.
Love is good for you

Reply to cybershrink

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