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Question
Posted by: BB | 2012-01-24

Sexually Atracted

Hi,

My husband had a lot of childhood issues and that lead to further problems. Molested as child and then now phases of mastrubating problems and huge trust issues. He has gained about 30kg the last 7 years and he has low motivation to change it. Because of all his weight gain, it is at times difficult to be sexually attracted to him. I love him dearly and he means the world to me, I have tried to motivate him but it doesn''t work. I don''t know what to do....

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sometimes people who have had earlier molestation are ambivalent about sexuality, and may tolerate becoming fat so as to feel safer, i.e. less attractive. HE would benefit most from seeing a good psychologist for psychotherapy, preferably of the CBT format, to understand the nature of his continuing concerns and to gain the skills of change them for the better.
We are not doomed to be eternal victims of whatever hapened to us earlier in life, but may become trapped by the assumptions and habits of thought we formed then, until we learn to change them

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Bron | 2012-01-24

People who have been hurt as children carry the pain with them for the rest of their lives and it unfortunately impacts on those who love them too. Dont give up on him, try to get him to go for counselling alone so someone who is trained can help him adress his past and eventually rise above them. It takes a lot of love patience and sometimes tough love to get them to snap into reality and realise that the past is gone. He can learn ways of coping and finding peace within himself through people who are trained to teach the brain new techniques to aspire to live a fullfilled life by loving themselves first.

Reply to Bron
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-01-24

Sometimes people who have had earlier molestation are ambivalent about sexuality, and may tolerate becoming fat so as to feel safer, i.e. less attractive. HE would benefit most from seeing a good psychologist for psychotherapy, preferably of the CBT format, to understand the nature of his continuing concerns and to gain the skills of change them for the better.
We are not doomed to be eternal victims of whatever hapened to us earlier in life, but may become trapped by the assumptions and habits of thought we formed then, until we learn to change them

Reply to cybershrink

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