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Question
Posted by: Confussed | 2009/12/09

sexual feeling

Hi all, i just need your advise on this one.

My partner (31) recently doesn' t want to have sex with me (25), he' ll say he' s tired, they were busy at work, almost everyday. He goes to bed early knowing it' ll take time for to come to bed as i have to make my LG sleep first.

I even don' t know when was the last time we kissed whenever we make love he doesn' t wanna kiss me. before all this 2 months ago i find out that he was cheating on me, he was so distant always even when we supposed to have sex, i find the girl' s number and confronted him about it and denied it, i gave him another chance.

so now i think their stil seeing each other, he' s phone is always on silent or being hidden away.

Now there' s this guy (26) i' m chatting with at work everyday, we haven' t met yet but we' re having pictures of one another. we talk about everything and mostly about sex, intimate language. He invited me to his place, but i told him that maybe early next year. he want to have sex with me as much as i want to but i' m scared. he told me that we' ll keep it betwwen us, as he' s having a girlfriend not stayiong with. I never told him about the situation between my partner and i at home, he just know that things are normal. Honestly i' m like have feelings for him and sometimes i just miss him when i' m at home but never told him, i' m scared that i' ll confussed myself and get caught.

please give me your advise as i' m vulnerable and i' m having a very high sex drive.

thnx in advance!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

My advice to you is sort out one situation first otherwise it all becomes very muddy and confusing and you will end up being blamed when currently this may not be the case. If you don't trust your partner, he is not attempting to care for your needs, and he has already cheated on you, why are you with him? You are vulnerable, and having attractions to another person make this even more difficult and more likely to make a bad decision. You have already stepped over the normal boundaries of a relationship with this friend; I recommend you stop whilst you're at this stage and try to make decisions about your current partnership.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Confussed | 2009/12/10

Yesterday my partner and i tried to make love, at first all was okay but while busy on foreplay he ejaculated before entering...and i was so high very high. i felt disappointed he said he' s sorry for that but we can try after few mins, okay we try to warm things again but he couldn' t get an erection.

He never struggle to get erction since we' ve been 2gether. i tried all and the BJ as well but nothing i felt so down and diappointed thought maybe i could 4get about the other person and try to concentrate on us but i was wrong, after that he said ' sorry better luck next time' .

I couldn' t sleep thinking of the whole situation and about this other person as well. he was in my thought the whole night.

Don' t know what to do!

Reply to Confussed
Posted by: Pinky | 2009/12/10

Girl we are on the same boat here and decided to get myself a sex partner. Our sex life with my man is so boaring I coulnd' t take it anymore. I tried to spice things up mara go a tshwana. I love my man but our sex life is poor and my sexual drive is also high.

My advice to you, give it a try with that guy at work but just make it you little secret between the two of you. Gudluck and keep us posted.

Reply to Pinky
Posted by: Top Cat | 2009/12/09

Go for the affair,your b/f is cheeting on you. let us know what happend

Reply to Top Cat
Posted by: confussed | 2009/12/09

Flower1980, i don' t work with this person, he' s working far, i' m in Pretoria and he' s in JHB. i miss what we used to have with my partner, the way we used to be in bed but suddenly he' s changed. he' s not so distant but the problem is when we go o the bedroom. on the other side this guy makes me smile all day and when i think of him i just melt. am i confusing the feeling here or what?

Reply to confussed
Posted by: Flower1980 | 2009/12/09

Confussed your partner is cheating on you. There' s no two way about it. Don' t judge me I' m doing the same to my hubby. The sighs is all there. Not wanting to kiss and sleep with you, perhaps he is falling inlove with her. Getting involve with some at work, be carefull you would' nt want people to know at work what you do in you spare time. Look at me, its to late to let go of my lover now, I' m madly inlove with him now.

Reply to Flower1980
Posted by: Sexologist | 2009/12/09

My advice to you is sort out one situation first otherwise it all becomes very muddy and confusing and you will end up being blamed when currently this may not be the case. If you don't trust your partner, he is not attempting to care for your needs, and he has already cheated on you, why are you with him? You are vulnerable, and having attractions to another person make this even more difficult and more likely to make a bad decision. You have already stepped over the normal boundaries of a relationship with this friend; I recommend you stop whilst you're at this stage and try to make decisions about your current partnership.

Reply to Sexologist

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