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Question
Posted by: Digital_Sex®  | 2012/10/04

Sexual Desire mismatch

Well I guess it’ s safe to say that people have different sexual desires that differ on their own levels. Issue is when some partner gets frustrated at the extreme level (over their own) that their partner have  i.e. when women say that men have sex on their minds the whole time (well let’ s put the foot on the other shoe, do you really think that your partner wants to hear about what happened to you at work? or what Julia did to Tshego and how this will cause such havoc at your weekly book-club meeting? ... Fact: Not really, but your partner is willing to accommodate hearing this if it will make you feel better and vent out your frustration).

The best we as partners can do is really accommodate the other partners emotions and make them not feel weird and that we are willing to accept them and work out the bad elements and make them a more suitable partner in the relationship.

Advice to women:
Don’ t tell guys they are weird. (They have heard this many times from other people and you should be the last one to mention this, they already know)

Advice to guys:
Listen to her, she just wants to be heard and noticed.

Advice to Couples:
Accept each other, there is a reason why you are together, don’ t let tolerance be the only motivator (compromising and mutual benefit is more fulfilling to the diet of the relationship)

When a guy talks about sex to you doesn’ t really mean that he wants to have it, it may just be that he is frustrated and can think of no other better way to assist his situation than spending quality time with you as a partner (than an alternative, i.e. infidelity, porn, self-gratification etc)

Please do comment if you have a different opinion, I am in such a predicament.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

No two people have the same sexual and emotional desires…and even if they had the same level of both, the probability that they will have it exactly in the same amount at the same time is highly unlikely. Relationships are about finding a balance between both parties’ needs and ways to accommodate it. It is crucial to care enough about one another to listen and seek ways to fill one another’s buckets.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Joe | 2012/10/10

I feel your pain and am in EXACTLY the same position. I''ve even gone the extra mile of breakfast in bead every morning for a month, cooking at night, helping with the washing and also spending hours listening to the same lines over and over about who said and did what at the ofiice day in and day out. Come the nights, be it week nights or weekend nights, I want pleasurable reward to release the sexual frustrasions and get met wit.... " I''m tired"  or " I''m not in the mood"  or whatever else can be used as a lame excuse.

The advice above was in my opinion..... Useless. Take my advice in stead. Record what you do for her. Point out what you do for her. Record when she shuns you or turns you down. Let her know you are sexually frustrated... Then present this to her. In most cases, the women will find something to throw back at you and try make you feel like you are wrong.... You ARE NOT WRONG. Then go have an affair and if she finds out, show how you tried everything to get that release and pleasure from her.

Women all want gentlemen and when they get one, they want a bad boy then u give them that then they want out. They never know what they want. Yes, it''s generalising but so far, I have yet to find a woman to prove me wrong.

Reply to Joe
Posted by: sexologist | 2012/10/04

No two people have the same sexual and emotional desires…and even if they had the same level of both, the probability that they will have it exactly in the same amount at the same time is highly unlikely. Relationships are about finding a balance between both parties’ needs and ways to accommodate it. It is crucial to care enough about one another to listen and seek ways to fill one another’s buckets.

Reply to sexologist

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