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Question
Posted by: Anna | 2008/09/25

Sexual desire

Hi

M problem is that once my husband makes me angry i loose all my sexual desire for him. What can i do to avoid this? This started to happen after i gave birth last year December. even now if he makes me sad\angry i just loose all the sexual feelings i have and it takes few days before returning. what can i do? I alsohave the same problem as Theo.I manage to read the answer. But i think it' s because of birth.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

There are two aspects needing addressing here: emotions as a new mother, and how emotions relate to sexual desire.

Sometimes women become more sensitive emotionally after becoming mothers (I now cry at movies when before I used to laugh at my mother doing this!), but in addition to this there may be other factors which make you more vulnerable. For example, you have more to loose now. It may be that there are some areas of your life that have had to change being a new mother (e.g. tiredness, irritability, depression, frustration), and if your husband hasn't adjusted too, you might have built up a store of emotions, meaning that any smallish thing can 'tip you over' so to speak. Women also seem to have longer emotional memories than men, meaning that they seem to struggle to let go of the feelings - if you are feeling more sensitive now that you are mother, it may be that you feel the negative feelings for longer. I try to get women to 'push back' or let go of negative emotions when they know the issue has been resolved. This is not easy but it can be done - sometimes it takes just taking the first step and hugging him until you feel better. However, if the problem has not been resolved it may be more difficult!

It is very common that women's emotions interfere with their sexual interest - so if you're holding onto negative emotions, you may struggle to feel sexual interest.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: KC | 2008/09/25

Hi Anna,

I don' t think there is anything wrong with you. Most people don' t feel attractive to a person that just made them angry/sad/unhappy.

I mean really!

On the other hand, we love the men in our lifes, but that does not mean we have to always like them. So, don' t feel bad if you don' t want to make love to him.

However.....we all know that men loves sex, so tell him that if he is like that with you, then it' s a turn-off. Maybe he will rethink he action next time....

Reply to KC

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