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Question
Posted by: Karen | 2010-06-02

Sexual abuse by a child

My husband has told me that he was sexually abused by a friend when they were about 8 and 10 years'' old respectively. They are now in their 60s. My husband said he considered it as abuse as he had no sexual knowledge at the time and the other child did and made him ''do things''. The friend is now a neighbour and my husband hates him and feels he should, even at this late stage, be exposed. Would this have been an isolated incident by this child/ man or is he a potential paedophile> 

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Many children - and in particular men - have had their first sexual encounter with the same sex. In this sense, there is nothing dark to expose for most people have done so.

however, that your husband considers it abuse makes it a serious matter. in this sense, your husband should speak to the neighbour in private and express his feelings etc. if not, your hubby may need counselling to come to terms with what happened to him.

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Our users say:
Posted by: sexologist | 2010-06-03

Many children - and in particular men - have had their first sexual encounter with the same sex. In this sense, there is nothing dark to expose for most people have done so.

however, that your husband considers it abuse makes it a serious matter. in this sense, your husband should speak to the neighbour in private and express his feelings etc. if not, your hubby may need counselling to come to terms with what happened to him.

Reply to sexologist
Posted by: A man | 2010-06-02

I must agree with the above replies, it''s crazy that he has issues with something that almost all boys do around that age, I know I did too, we used to fondle, masturbate each other, and everything else at that age, it''s a normal part of growing up and there is no harm in it at all. It definitely does not make any of us paedophiles. It is time your hubby got over this as it is ruining his life for nothing.

Reply to A man
Posted by: JJ | 2010-06-02

Tell your husband to get over it and stop hiding behind c r a p!

Reply to JJ
Posted by: Oldster | 2010-06-02

Boomsie, I do not agree with you when you say that children at any age who do things sexually have anything wrong with them. I think all kids experiment at some stage or another, " you show me yours I''ll show you mine"  type of thing.

At 8 or 10 if its just experimenting with each other, mutual masturbation for example, provided its not full sexual penetration by opposite sexes I do not think this is a huge everlasting problem. I am surprised that a 60 year old is still affected by what happened between two kids of the same age all those years ago. But hey, thats just my opinion.

Reply to Oldster
Posted by: boomsie | 2010-06-02

i think when a child at any age commits sexual acts, has something thats wrong, either spycological or something. but it does not mean they stay like that when grown up.
i say, let god be the judge in this matter, unless you suspect the guy of realy doing something or caught him in the act. ask your husband to forgive and forget , as the friend probably got over it, or even accepted forgiveness from god.
but as i say if you catch him doing it still with other people or kids, report him.

Reply to boomsie

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