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Question
Posted by: anon | 2012/04/26

sexless

my wife will allow sex maybe 3 x per month, of which 1 time she will enjoy and have a few orgasms, the other times, no forplay,I have to be fast or she starts telling me to hurry up, she says sex is just not important anymore, we used to have great regular sex, she would love me to massage her,loved forplay,loved romance, now all is gone. We are married 22 years, and it has been like this for the last 4 years. She doesnt work, and the kids are older now, and we have a lot of time on our own, we are great friends, but I fear that is what we have become, we have discussed this, often resulting in fights, and she says she is not prepared to work on this, as its time I get over it, for her if we never have sex again, then she says we would have the perfect marriage, but for me sex is part of a pefect marriage. She also says masturbation is wrong, and if I masturbate she gets mad, but I need her, not myself. We have been going through some difficult times, but sex relieves my stress, she is so anti sex, its unbelievable, but she refuses to talk about sex, I find her so gorgeous, and I have been trying to see her as not sexy, but I cant, she is very sexy. I dont know what to do, I am in my forties and I had a wet dream, this shows how frustrated I am physically. Can a marriage survive without sex. I love her and want to always be there for her, so divorce or sex outside of marriage is not an option, anyway noone else could satisfy me, its more than the physical for me, its my emotional affirmation, I am going mad, vant work, cant think, extremely hurt

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

I understand that you are frustrated. Perhaps she is going into her menopause and needs a bit of hormone replacement to get her going again. Perhaps she is depressed after the children left home and she feels worthless with too much time on her hands. Perhaps she does not feel sexy herself despite the fact that you find her sexy! Convince her to go to a doctor who can give her a good check-up. Also explain to her that you have needs. If this does not work, go for counseling. Older women can still have roaring sex - it is just more of a mind thing! Deidre - SASHA

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: sexologist | 2012/04/26

I understand that you are frustrated. Perhaps she is going into her menopause and needs a bit of hormone replacement to get her going again. Perhaps she is depressed after the children left home and she feels worthless with too much time on her hands. Perhaps she does not feel sexy herself despite the fact that you find her sexy! Convince her to go to a doctor who can give her a good check-up. Also explain to her that you have needs. If this does not work, go for counseling. Older women can still have roaring sex - it is just more of a mind thing! Deidre - SASHA

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