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Question
Posted by: joey | 2011/03/02

SEX WITH OVERWEIGHT HUSBAND

Hi

How do satisfy your husband if he is 60 kg''s overweight and does not want you to touch him. Does he masturbate at 49yrs? He sleeps in another room. I gave up with the sex thing. Only stay because of my child. He is a good dad.

Can I set an ultimatum for him? Loose your weight in one year or I go!!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

By the sound of it your relationship is in dire need of some kind of intervention. I would recommend that you consider the possibility of seeking the assistance and guidance from a psychologist – hopefully both of you will go but he does not want to go with you will still find benefit going alone. You have a daughter and you would like any decision and reactions to be as constructive as possible. You might consider some kind of shock treatment like setting ultimatums; but be prepared for his choice to do nothing about his weight and that you then have to act on your ultimatum. What is evident is that you are unhappy in this space you are in and you need some guidance and assistance to get to a place that is good for you and your child. Regarding the masturbation – If you are not having sex the probability of him masturbating is highly probable.



You are welcome to phone our helpline – 0860100262 where you could be assisted in finding a practitioner as close as possible to you.
Furthermore you are welcome to visit the following website for any more sexual health information and assignments that could be helpful: www.sexualhealth.co.za

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Woman | 2011/03/03

How does your husband feel about being overweight? I bet he hates it too. You didn''t say whether you are overweight too?

I think that one should always try to save your relationship if you can. If it takes an ultimatum, then so be it. But you should also support your husband - make sure he joins weight watchers, go with him to the gym. Give him time with a personal trainer as a birthday or father''s day gift. See a nutritionist and dietician together and then make the food that they recommend.

I would also suggest you go for couple''s counselling. Just to improve and strengthen your relationship during this time. Any kid would prefer to grow up in a happy home with both parents, but then again, kids would rather come from a broken home than live in one, as Dr. Phil once said.

And if you do leave him, then one day,, you can tell your kid that you did everything in your power to save your marriage. That is also important for a kid to know.

good luck!

Reply to Woman
Posted by: XXX | 2011/03/03

Being that overweight probably means he has " issues"  of his own ie self esteem etc.
You need to explain to him that you need and want sex and due to your feelings for him you want that person to be him.However,he needs get his weight sorted first.
He might even need to go see a dr.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Chris758 | 2011/03/03

You say that he does not want you to touch him. WHY? What have you perhaps done to bring this on? I do not say you have done something but even if he is overweight does not mean he cannot have sex. Something is bothering him and that is the answer you must look for. Why does het over eat or does he have a medical reason for being overweight? Maybe a diabetic?

Sorry for the questions but there has to be a reason!!

Reply to Chris758
Posted by: jack | 2011/03/03

Ag no man , pack your bags and go, at that weight I suppose he cant even see his tottie.

Reply to jack
Posted by: Chris | 2011/03/03

Hi Joey, you might just as well go, if you dont even want to touch him, then its over.

Reply to Chris
Posted by: sexologist | 2011/03/03

By the sound of it your relationship is in dire need of some kind of intervention. I would recommend that you consider the possibility of seeking the assistance and guidance from a psychologist – hopefully both of you will go but he does not want to go with you will still find benefit going alone. You have a daughter and you would like any decision and reactions to be as constructive as possible. You might consider some kind of shock treatment like setting ultimatums; but be prepared for his choice to do nothing about his weight and that you then have to act on your ultimatum. What is evident is that you are unhappy in this space you are in and you need some guidance and assistance to get to a place that is good for you and your child. Regarding the masturbation – If you are not having sex the probability of him masturbating is highly probable.



You are welcome to phone our helpline – 0860100262 where you could be assisted in finding a practitioner as close as possible to you.
Furthermore you are welcome to visit the following website for any more sexual health information and assignments that could be helpful: www.sexualhealth.co.za

Reply to sexologist

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